The Government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead .To what extent do you agree with the statements?
#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #government #funds #services #statements
Some people state that the
government
's funding in
Change preposition
for
arts
is completely useless and prefered
to use the money for public Correct your spelling
prefer
services
instead
. I am strongly oppose
to the statement and I will explain it in the next following paragraphs.
Change the verb form
am strongly opposed
Arts
does not need to be portrayed as a waste of money, because arts
is
not completely oppose the public Verb problem
do
services
in a country or city
. Arts
, music, and theatre can be integrated to
Change preposition
into
the
other public Correct article usage
apply
services
, such
as education and health. Arts
in education has been viewed as a positive things
by many teachers and educatorsCorrect the article-noun agreement
thing
,
because by using Remove the comma
apply
arts
learning become
more Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
interested
for children and will exercise them to develop creative thinking. Replace the word
interesting
In addition
to that, arts
are also
useful as a form of therapy for patients with mental disorder
. Many studies stated that Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
arts
can help these patients to be more calm and ease their anxiety. By funding in arts
, government
can Add an article
the government
also
help and develop other public services
.
Moreover
, government's
investment in Correct article usage
the government's
arts
can also
increase the city
or country's revenue. Many types of arts
, such
as painting, music, and theatre are usually enjoyed in the form of exhibition
. When Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
government
fully support the artists and Correct article usage
the government
exhibition
through their Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
fundings
, it will Fix the agreement mistake
funding
gives
them more opportunities to attract visitors and perhaps investors to come to their Change the verb form
give
city
. So, invesments
in Correct your spelling
investments
investment
arts
is
beneficial for the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
government
itself.
In conclusion, government's
Correct article usage
the government's
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
in
Change preposition
of
arts
is not something useless and a waste of money because arts
can be integrated to
other public Change preposition
into
services
, such
as education and health. It also
give
more opportunities for the Change the verb form
gives
city
or country to increase their revenue through arts
.Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on
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introduction conclusion
Introduction needs to be clearer and include a thesis statement outlining what will be discussed. For example, 'This essay will discuss how investments in arts can benefit education and mental health, and how it can increase government revenue.'
logical structure
Improve logical flow between points. Use linking phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' and 'Furthermore.'
relevant specific examples
Add more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the arguments. For instance, mention a country or city where arts funding has positively impacted public services and revenue.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
supported main points
Main points are clearly presented and supported with some details.
complete response
The essay addresses multiple dimensions of the topic, including education, mental health, and economic benefits.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite