Many people nowadays prefer online shopping. Is it a positive or negative development
Whilst some
people
prefer purchasing what they need online, others prefer going to stores. I believe that e-commerce has made our lives easier by providing a myriad of products from different countries with variable prices.
Moreover
, saving time is one of the priorities for many people
, so they prefer online shopping rather than the traditional way. In other words
, if someone goes online to buy something, they will save time. A prominent example is Egypt which suffers from severe traffic congestion leading to an increase in number
of online orders day by day. Change the article
a number
the number
Thus
, this
example shows that electronic shopping has become an essential part of people
’s lives.
In conclusion, After
this
essay has shown why most people
prefer virtual store
, it can be claimed that e-shopping has become a pivotal solution for many consumers to get what they need Fix the agreement mistake
stores
with
the best price anytime anywhere. I am a strong supporter Change preposition
at
for
online shopping and I call for launching campaigns to increase awareness of Change preposition
of
people
concering
its benefit.Correct your spelling
concerning
Submitted by ahmedteleb500 on
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task achievement
While the essay does provide examples, it's important to ensure that these examples clearly support the argument. Additionally, consider integrating more varied and specific instances to make your points stronger.
task achievement
Work on developing your body paragraphs in more depth, providing more detailed explanations and evidence for your points. This will help in achieving a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your argument logically.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point you make is fully explained and supported with specific examples. This will make your essay more cohesive and well-structured.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and demonstrates a clear stance on online shopping, which satisfies the task requirements.
task achievement
Your essay contains some relevant examples that illustrate your points, enhancing the overall argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite