IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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, many people claim that an upward alternative in
gas
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 is the greatest solution to alleviate or eventually eradicate the rate of vehicles on the road and the natural issues.
This
Linking Words
 writer completely agrees with
this
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 belief since it guides the citizens toward using public amenities and
also
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 wants to propose another solution which is developing eco-friendly
buses
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.
To begin
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 with, it is vital to understand that a rise in
petrol’s
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petrol
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 taxes can result in people choosing public
Use synonyms
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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. It is obvious that
gas
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 is an essential component and without it, old-fashion cars will not function. If authorities enforce a policy that raises the
petrol’s
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petrol
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 price, residents will experience reluctance when purchasing
gas
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;
therefore
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, forcing them to look for an alternative way to travel around so public
Use synonyms
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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 become the popular option.
As a result
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, the rate of private vehicles on the road will drop significantly which will reduce the environmental issues.
Furthermore
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, it must be acknowledged that transforming from
out-dated
Correct your spelling
outdated
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buses
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 to more environmentally friendly ones can be effective in mitigating the problems. It can be observed that many
old style
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old-style
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buses
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 work by burning fuel and the exhausted
gas
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 can be extremely dangerous to the environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their facilities are
no where
Join the words
nowhere
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 up to standard and put many
travelers
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travellers
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 off. Because of that, launching a program on developing brand-new
buses
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 which have high-quality facilities and are eco-friendly is compulsory.
For instance
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, in recent years, Vietnamese governments have been so aware of the environmental problems caused by the density of
Use synonyms
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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 that they have introduced a new type of public
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buses
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bus
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 powered by electricity
along with
Linking Words
state of the art
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state-of-the-art
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 facilities, hoping to attract the locals to use them. In conclusion, the phenomenon of the growth in
Use synonyms
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and the environmental issues can be tackled by enforcing greater taxes on petrol which force the population to use public
Use synonyms
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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as well as
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 updating the public
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transports’
Change noun form
transport’s
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 infrastructure.
Hence
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,
this
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 essay has given clear points to demonstrate the author’s agreement with the statements and another proposed solution.

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task achievement
While the main points are relevant and clear, try to elaborate a bit more on alternative measures beyond the price increase to provide a more balanced argument. For example, you could discuss better urban planning, carpooling, or investment in cycling infrastructure.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using linking phrases such as 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'On the other hand,' can enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be rephrased for better clarity and readability. For example, 'It is obvious that gas is an essential component and without it, old-fashion cars will not function,' could be rephrased to 'Gas is essential for the operation of conventional cars, and without it, they won't function.'
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making the main argument easy to follow.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, like the introduction of electric buses in Vietnam, adds depth to the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively and provides a clear stance on the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
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