A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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In the contemporary world, a significant amount of resources are directed toward
oil
and
gas
exploration operations. Bearing in mind the fact that fossil fuels are finite in the environment, investing in infinite
energy
sources like
wind
and solar power would be a more feasible investment choice. It is my contention that not only
oil
and
gas
energy
is detrimental to the environment, but
also
they are finite in the earth's crust,
therefore
, I believe shifting towards renewable
energy
sources will bring in numerous additional benefits to us. First up, scientists have predicted that the earth has solely 40 years enough of fossil fuels to await to be extracted,
therefore
, the importance of switching towards alternative
energy
providers is unquestionably critical for humanity to evolve into its next shape. Luckily, the earth has ample amounts of
energy
resources that are infinite and eco-friendly at the same time. Many countries including the heavy
oil
and
gas
suppliers
instead
of financing new
oil
and
gas
investigation operations are heavily investing in the development of solar-powered
energy
plants and
wind
turbines as they offer a promising and impactful future to them.
For example
, almost all of the OPEC countries are now in a race to become a world leader in renewable
energy
production led by the China and US.
Therefore
, I believe renewable
energy
is the panacea to combat global warming and cut off the CO2 emissions which are emitted by fossil fuel users.
Moreover
,
besides
the renowned advantages, the cost of green
energy
is almost as competitive as
oil
energy
. As more investor interest shifts towards eco-friendly
energy
, the price to harness solar,
wind
or hydropower is getting lower every day,
thus
, bridging the gap between traditional and modern
energy
sources. Given all these advantages, investors appear to be highly receptive to green investment pitches, making it easier than ever to attract potential customers for
such
investments. One of the most powerful sides of renewable
energy
is that it will remedy the damage caused by
oil
energy
and
this
alone is enough to prioritize renewable
energy
. In conclusion,
although
initially
, many individuals were sceptical of the idea of sun and
wind
power superseding
oil
and
gas
energy
, the reality elucidates a completely opposite scenario as the potential of green resources is unparalleled in comparison to any other alternatives.
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. This can help to make your points more convincing and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs transition smoothly from one idea to the next. While your essay is logically structured, sometimes the connection between sentences or ideas can be strengthened for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion that restate and support your main argument.
task achievement
You adequately covered the topic by exploring both the environmental impact and the finiteness of fossil fuels, along with the advantages of renewable energy.
coherence cohesion
Your language use is generally clear, and you present your ideas comprehensively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
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