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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Your English-speaking friend has asked for your help with a college project he/she is doing about celebrating New Year in different countries. Write a letter to your friend.In your letter •say how important New Year is to people in your country •describe how New Year celebrated in your country •explain what you like about New Year celebratios in your country.

#friend #college #project #year #countries #•say #people #country #•describe #•explain #celebratios
Dear,Jade I hope these tips will help you
for
Change preposition
with
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 your college project
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
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about celebrating New
Year
 in different countries.Both old people and children look forward to the New
Year
. In light
of
Correct pronoun usage
of this
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,New
Year
 is a family
holiday
. Especially,in my
country
 New
Year
 cannot
be repeat
Change the verb form
be repeated
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.
This
 is
day
Add an article
the day
a day
show examples
 people
to be
Change the verb form
are
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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happy,
positivity
Replace the word
positive
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, funny and
to
Change preposition
apply
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dreams
Fix the agreement mistake
dream
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.They believe
this
 day be different and achieve their all dreams. Everyone wants to welcome New
Year
 with their family or next of
kins
Fix the agreement mistake
kin
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.They
celebrating
Wrong verb form
celebrate
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holiday
Add an article
the holiday
a holiday
show examples
 with special commotion.
In addition
,in my
country
 as the New
Year
 approaches, everyone starts decorating their homes and New
Year
's trees. Santa Claus
walk
Change the verb form
walks
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 in front of New
Year
's trees on the street.In the
holiday
,everyone
setting
Wrong verb form
sets
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festive
Add an article
a festive
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 table . At the 00:00
o'clock
Add a comma
o'clock,
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 people intend for next
year
. And they believe that all the bad days will remain in the past
year
. We always celebrate the New
Year
 as a family . When midnight in our
country
 fireworks and lanterns start flying in the sky.
This
 is really gorgeous!
Besides
,we go to our close friends, relatives and
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.Or they come to us.But there are families who want to celebrate
holiday
Add an article
the holiday
a holiday
show examples
 in another
country
. I
ponder
Correct your spelling
wonder
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,
these are
Verb problem
this
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 suitable for your college project
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
about celebrating New
Year
 in different countries. I hope you understand correctly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if there are any mistakes. By Fatima
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Work more on logical sequencing of ideas to make your letter flow more naturally.
task achievement
Ensure your writing tone is slightly more formal to match the letter format.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear greeting and closing in your letter, which is great.
task achievement
Your letter covers all the key points requested in the prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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