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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the number of people taking part in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of people taking part in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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valuable insight into the number of participants in the four-ball games of
rugby
Use synonyms
, tennis,
basketball
Use synonyms
 and
badminton
Use synonyms
 over the twenty-year period from 1985 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
rugby
Use synonyms
 has seen a significant decline in
popularity
Use synonyms
 over time, but tennis has had the opposite trend of growth.
However
Linking Words
,
basketball
Use synonyms
 and
badminton
Use synonyms
 were relatively stable and had minor fluctuations. In 1985,
rugby
Use synonyms
 was the leading sport with around 140
players
Use synonyms
. Over the next 10 years, its
popularity
Use synonyms
 grew steadily, and by 1995, it had reached 200
players
Use synonyms
 per tennis category.
However
Linking Words
,
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 peak,
rugby
Use synonyms
's
popularity
Use synonyms
 declined sharply and by 2005 it was down to just 50
players
Use synonyms
, matching the number of participants in
badminton
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
basketball
Use synonyms
 and
badminton
Use synonyms
 started as the smallest sports with about 80 and 60
players
Use synonyms
 respectively in 1985 . Of the two sports, participation declined the least, with
badminton
Use synonyms
 losing just over 10
players
Use synonyms
 in its first five years. Over the years, their
popularity
Use synonyms
 followed a similar pattern, with 80
basketball
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 and 50
badminton
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rugby, basketball, badminton, popularity, players with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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