IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The proccess diagram details the steps by which liquid chocolate is produced from cocoa beans.

#proccess #steps #chocolate #cocoa #beans
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The process diagram provides information about how liquid chocolate is made from
cocoa
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beans
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step
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 by
step
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 producing
this
Linking Words
 kind of chocolate contains 10
steps
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 from harvesting it to
coverting
Correct your spelling
converting
covering
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
show examples
 liquid at the
last
Linking Words
step
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. More than half of the
steps
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occure
Correct your spelling
occur
occurs
 outside the company and
Correct article usage
the remaing
show examples
remaing
Correct your spelling
remaining
 parts
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happening inside the firm.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we can find
cocoa
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beans
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 mostly in South America, Africa and Indonesia. After finding it, white
cocoa
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beans
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 are harvested from pods in the
cocoa
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 tree and at the third
step
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,
then
Linking Words
 these
beans
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 are fermented. In the next three
steps
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, these
beans
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 are
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
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 in
sun
Correct article usage
the sun
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 to dry and immediately after it,
beans
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 are transported by train or lorry in large sacks to a specific factory and continuing
steps
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 are
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happens
 inside the firm. Inside the factory,
beans
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 are roasted
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 350
celisios
Correct your spelling
celsius
delicious
 for a specific time.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
step
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 after giving heat to
beans
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 is
sperating
Correct your spelling
separating
 them from their shells.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 sector of
this
Linking Words
 process, crushed
beans
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 take part in a machine which converts solid ones to liquid
beans
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 by pressing them.
Submitted by Sarlakehsan79 on

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Introduction
The introduction is clear but can be slightly expanded to provide more context about the production process.
Conclusion
A stronger conclusion would enhance cohesion and give a more rounded overview of the process.
Grammar
Be careful with some minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes (e.g., "spreaded" should be "spread" and "celisios" should be "Celsius").
Varied Sentences
Ensure varied sentence structures to keep the text engaging.
Clarity
The overall process and key steps are clearly described.
Logical Structure
The usage of sequence markers like 'Firstly', 'In the next step', etc., significantly enhances the logical structure.
Relevant Information
Relevant details about the external and internal steps are effectively covered.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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