The proccess diagram details the steps by which liquid chocolate is produced from cocoa beans.

The process diagram provides information about how liquid chocolate is made from
cocoa
beans
step
by
step
.
Overall
,
it is clear that
producing
this
kind of chocolate contains 10
steps
from harvesting it to
coverting
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converting
covering
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
show examples
liquid at the
last
step
. More than half of the
steps
occure
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occur
occurs
outside the company and
Correct article usage
the remaing
show examples
remaing
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remaining
parts
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happening inside the firm.
Firstly
, we can find
cocoa
beans
mostly in South America, Africa and Indonesia. After finding it, white
cocoa
beans
are harvested from pods in the
cocoa
tree and at the third
step
,
then
these
beans
are fermented. In the next three
steps
, these
beans
are
spreaded
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spread
show examples
in
sun
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the sun
show examples
to dry and immediately after it,
beans
are transported by train or lorry in large sacks to a specific factory and continuing
steps
are
happend
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happened
happens
inside the firm. Inside the factory,
beans
are roasted
in
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at
show examples
350
celisios
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celsius
delicious
for a specific time.
Next
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The next
show examples
step
after giving heat to
beans
is
sperating
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separating
them from their shells.
At
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In
show examples
the
last
sector of
this
process, crushed
beans
take part in a machine which converts solid ones to liquid
beans
by pressing them.
Submitted by Sarlakehsan79 on

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Introduction
The introduction is clear but can be slightly expanded to provide more context about the production process.
Conclusion
A stronger conclusion would enhance cohesion and give a more rounded overview of the process.
Grammar
Be careful with some minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes (e.g., "spreaded" should be "spread" and "celisios" should be "Celsius").
Varied Sentences
Ensure varied sentence structures to keep the text engaging.
Clarity
The overall process and key steps are clearly described.
Logical Structure
The usage of sequence markers like 'Firstly', 'In the next step', etc., significantly enhances the logical structure.
Relevant Information
Relevant details about the external and internal steps are effectively covered.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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