IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be this case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed ?

#people #self #work #company #organisation #be #case
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There is no doubt that these days.The question is, in modern-day a variety of people prefer to be self-employed
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otherwise
Rephrase
rather
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to
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than
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 work for any company or government
?
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.
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 In
this
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 essay, I am going to discover what there are advantages and disadvantages. In terms of advantages, most people have begun to search for new opportunities for them-self recently.The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that self-aware or multiplying chances.To illustrate, these days, I faced a lot of opportunities when I worked freelancer on some projects and I accomplished a lot of achievements when I handled it.
In other words
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, I strongly believe that the benefits of
self-employed
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being self-employed
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 outweigh the downsides because
self-employed
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being self-employed
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 aids them to add value to themselves
such
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 as an increase in income or learning a lot of new skills.
Firstly
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, self-work on your business is the most important thing lately, because you will have the ability to improve yourself to reach your goals.
On the other hand
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, there are several disadvantages of
self-employed
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being self-employed
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.
Moreover
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, one of
these dark side
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this dark side
these dark sides
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,
when
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is when
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 someone depends on himself will find some issues
such
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 as lack of requests or the competition on the market , it is complex to build your business.
For instance
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, in my own projects, I found some problems, one of it the competition in our market .
To sum up
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, it is evident that
self-employed
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being self-employed
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 merits downsides
also
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, I encourage anyone to obtain
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
his own
her own
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 work, to provide any solutions and resolve
of
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apply
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the market, must ensure steps are taken to prevent
this
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 phenomenon from deteriorating in future.
Submitted by nahlaalrashidi on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic but could benefit from a clearer and more engaging thesis statement to outline the main arguments.
supported main points
Ensure that each main point is fully developed with clear explanations and specific details. The essay tends to be somewhat vague at times, especially in terms of providing specific examples and in-depth analysis.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Use more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs seamlessly.
complete response
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment, showing a balanced view.
relevant specific examples
The writer uses personal experiences to support some points, which makes the essay more relatable.
logical structure
The essay has a clear structure with paragraphs that focus on individual points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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