In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed their education and found jobs. Do the advatages outweigh the disadvantages ?
In an ever-progressive society, there is an emergence of young adults who have had a stable occupation
Correct word choice
and decide
decide
to nest with their Wrong verb form
decided
family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
This
writer assumes that the lacks
of independence Fix the agreement mistake
lack
as well as
the privacy concerns predominate over the adversity of financial benefits.
The most disadvantageous factor of living together with
parents
is that it can limit the ability to manage these individuals’ lives. To put it simply, these guardians have an enormous responsibility to well-adopted their off-spring
, so they tend to overcontrol their children even when they are mature so as to Correct your spelling
offspring
assure
Verb problem
ensure
the
discipline. Correct article usage
apply
As a consequence
, these young people will gradually lose their instinct which they have already had as they are not willing to confront with
the obstacles without their Change preposition
apply
parents
, contributing to the long-term dependence on the caregivers.
Another drawback of sharing a living space to
Change preposition
with
parents
is the capability of privacy invasion. It should be noted that the bulk of young adults are primary
in their love relationships and it will be challenging for them to develop Change the word
primarily
the
romantic with the Correct article usage
apply
surveilance
of guardians. Correct your spelling
surveillance
Furthermore
, there is a huge discrepancy between two seperated
people who were born in two different Correct your spelling
separated
separate
era
, contributing to Change to a plural noun
eras
the
distinct Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
along with
daily routines. As a negative result, conflict in a family is inevitable since neither sympathy nor similarities are found in a conversation.
Nevertheless
, a minority of civilans
claim that residing with Correct your spelling
civilians
parents
is a wise choice on the Correct pronoun usage
their parents
ground
of saving finance. With that said, the more houses are erected, the more cost of living with bills are paid. Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
This
may be true in some certains
, yet the Correct your spelling
cases
economic
is constantly growing, simultaneously, reinforcing the residents’ Replace the word
economy
avarage
income, Correct your spelling
average
creating
Correct word choice
and creating
opportunity
for them to address the expense of living without any Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
assisstance
from Correct your spelling
assistance
the
guardians. Change the word
their
Consequently
, not only do parents
mitigate the anxiety about their children, but also
do themselves can learn
how to manage Rephrase
also learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
finance
efficiently.
Taking all into account, the disadvantages of insufficient independence Fix the agreement mistake
finances
along with
privacy invasion overshadow the benefit of saving money. Additionally
, young adults should have a house for themselves instead
of being reliant to
their Change preposition
on
parents
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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Your essay addresses the prompt well, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of adults living with their parents.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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