1. Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #history #school #subjects #today’s #world #science #technology

In contemporary times, there exists a paramount emphasis on the important level of school

subjects

, eliciting a plethora of debates on

this

topic. Several individuals think that

history

is one of the most important school

subjects

however

, others believe that, in today's world,

history

is not as crucial as

subjects

involving

science

and

technology

. Personally, in

this

essay, I would like to discuss both sides before giving my opinion. On the one hand,

it is clear that

not only does

history

help

resident

Fix the agreement mistake

residents

show examples

to know about their original

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

ancestor

Fix the agreement mistake

ancestors

show examples

, but it

also

Change the article

the

show examples

best way to pass down culture from

generation

As a result

this

contibute

Correct your spelling

contributes

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

their patriotism and protecting their culture.

For example

, I studied historical

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

during my schoolhood. Thanking that, I

comprehand

Correct your spelling

comprehend

that building nation process of my ancestor is

extreme

Change the adjective

extremely

show examples

hard and I am

pround

Correct your spelling

proud

of my nation and the national

heros

Correct your spelling

heroes

hero

who dedicated their whole life for our country.

Therefore

, I am aware of protecting

valuable

Correct article usage

the valuable

show examples

culture

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they left.

On the other hand

, people

also

claim that, in the technological era,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

subjects

such

technology

and

science

are more vital than historical

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

because all

espects

Correct your spelling

aspects

of our life from working to leisure

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

involving

Wrong verb form

involve

show examples

thechnology

Correct your spelling

technology

and

science

Thus

, they like a

madatory

Correct your spelling

mandatory

knowledge for people to catch up

rhythm

Add an article

the rhythm

show examples

of modern life.

For instance

nowsaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

, teachers need to know how to use

technology

to serve

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their teaching because

Add an article

the black

show examples

black board

Correct your spelling

blackboard

show examples

Wrong verb form

been

show examples

altered

Change preposition

show examples

electric

Add an article

the electric

show examples

board, and books

is replace

Change the verb form

is replaced

show examples

by computers. Or workers who

also

need

know

Fix the infinitive

to know

show examples

technology

Correct article usage

the technology

show examples

to operate automatic machines. In conclusion,

although

both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that

history

technology

and

science

subjects

are equally important because

history

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

inner

Correct article usage

the inner

show examples

present

Add an article

the present

show examples

generation

additionally

technology

and sciences like ideal means to develop that

generation

Finally

, each subject

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

important role

to develop

Change preposition

in developing

show examples

individuas

Correct your spelling

individuals

individual

as well as

society.

Submitted by writingeilts on Mon Jun 03 2024

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task response

To improve task response, make sure to present your opinion more clearly at the beginning and end of the essay. You stated your intention to provide an opinion in the introduction but did not specify what it would be, which might make it less impactful.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly with more effective use of linking words and phrases. For instance, using phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'In addition' can help in connecting your ideas better.

task response

Work on grammatical accuracy and word choice. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'resident', 'contibute', 'comprehand', which should be corrected to improve clarity and precision in your writing.

task response

The essay provides a well-rounded discussion by covering both views on the topic and includes relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in giving the essay a complete structure.

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported with appropriate examples which add value to your arguments.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Historical perspective
Analytical skills
Contextual understanding
Technological advancements
STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
Innovation
Interdisciplinary
Job market
Climate crisis
Cultural identity
Critical thinking
Humanities
Contemporary issues
Integration
Tech-savvy

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1. Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that robots are important for human`s future development. Other think that robots have negative impacts on society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Culture is turning similar around the world. What are reasons? What are the positive and negative aspects?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sport or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the problems associated with and some possible solutions?