1. Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In contemporary times, there exists a paramount emphasis on the important level of school
subjects
, eliciting a plethora of debates on this
topic. Several individuals think that history
is one of the most important school subjects
, however
, others believe that, in today's world, history
is not as crucial as subjects
involving science
and technology
. Personally, in this
essay, I would like to discuss both sides before giving my opinion.
On the one hand, it is clear that
not only does history
help resident
to know about their original Fix the agreement mistake
residents
and
Correct word choice
apply
ancestor
, but it Fix the agreement mistake
ancestors
also
is a
best way to pass down culture from Change the article
the
generation
to generation
. As a result
, this
contibute
to Correct your spelling
contributes
develop
their patriotism and protecting their culture. Wrong verb form
developing
For example
, I studied historical subject
during my schoolhood. Thanking that, I Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
comprehand
that building nation process of my ancestor is Correct your spelling
comprehend
extreme
hard and I am Change the adjective
extremely
pround
of my nation and the national Correct your spelling
proud
heros
who dedicated their whole life for our country. Correct your spelling
heroes
hero
Therefore
, I am aware of protecting valuable
culture Correct article usage
the valuable
what
they left.
Correct word choice
that
On the other hand
, people also
claim that, in the technological era, the
Correct article usage
apply
subjects
such
as technology
and science
are more vital than historical subject
because all Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
espects
of our life from working to leisure Correct your spelling
aspects
are
Verb problem
apply
involving
Wrong verb form
involve
thechnology
and Correct your spelling
technology
science
. Thus
, they like a madatory
knowledge for people to catch up Correct your spelling
mandatory
rhythm
of modern life. Add an article
the rhythm
For instance
, nowsaday
, teachers need to know how to use Correct your spelling
nowadays
technology
to serve for
their teaching because Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the black
black board
Correct your spelling
blackboard
is
altered Wrong verb form
been
by
Change preposition
to
electric
board, and books Add an article
the electric
is replace
by computers. Or workers who Change the verb form
is replaced
also
need know
Fix the infinitive
to know
technology
to operate automatic machines.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
the technology
although
both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that history
, technology
and science
subjects
are equally important because history
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
inner
of Correct article usage
the inner
present
Add an article
the present
generation
, additionally
, technology
and sciences like ideal means to develop that generation
. Finally
, each subject play
Change the verb form
plays
different
important role Add an article
a different
to develop
Change preposition
in developing
individuas
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
as well as
society.Submitted by writingeilts on
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task response
To improve task response, make sure to present your opinion more clearly at the beginning and end of the essay. You stated your intention to provide an opinion in the introduction but did not specify what it would be, which might make it less impactful.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly with more effective use of linking words and phrases. For instance, using phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'In addition' can help in connecting your ideas better.
task response
Work on grammatical accuracy and word choice. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'resident', 'contibute', 'comprehand', which should be corrected to improve clarity and precision in your writing.
task response
The essay provides a well-rounded discussion by covering both views on the topic and includes relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in giving the essay a complete structure.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with appropriate examples which add value to your arguments.
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