Some people think that Olympics Games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

It is a common belief that
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
Olympics
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympic
show examples
Games
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a waste of money and they feel better when
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money on other things will have more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
.
This
essay agrees with
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
show examples
that
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
Olympics
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympic
show examples
Games
will bring other
countries
together rather than the ideas of some residents
feel
Correct pronoun usage
who feel
show examples
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of money to do things related to the
competition
. Nowadays, the
Olympics
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympic
show examples
Games
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a big common around the world and
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
winning it will bring
respects
Fix the agreement mistake
respect
show examples
other
countries
to
their
Change the word
other
show examples
countries
.
That
Correct determiner usage
Games
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games
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
many
countries
organize
Wrong verb form
are organised
show examples
for
talent
Replace the word
talented
show examples
people
, so not only exciting events
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
is the
competition
very difficult for
people
who take part in it. If
people
in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
win
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
show examples
games
, they will bring
many respects
Fix the agreement mistake
much respect
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,
Correct word choice
and admire
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admire
Replace the word
admiration
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
themselves to
proud
Replace the word
pride
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
nations
Correct article usage
the nations
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together. Yet
people
who enjoy it will spend a lot of time themselves
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
training every day until begin
Olympics
games
. When they win the
competition
, other
people
in the world will admire them and
also
help their country develop
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
international relationships.
In contrast
, the opponents of my idea typically state that
this
event
cover
Change the verb form
covers
show examples
an extreme number of finance for
constructing
Replace the word
construction
show examples
such
as football stadiums, badminton courts, swimming pools, etc.
As a result
,
this
event had enormous one-off projects used in the
Olympics
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympic
show examples
Games
.
Therefore
, causing a detrimental case of long-term debt,
although
they know it
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
Correct article usage
a purposed
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purposed
Replace the word
purpose
show examples
toward
Change preposition
for
show examples
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
.
Instead
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, some
people
want the government to invest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
building projects and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
of residents.
Furthermore
, the
Olympics
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympic
show examples
Games
also
help progress and bring many opportunities for diplomatic relations of participating
countries
. That’s because,
this
competition
is a prize which is for all
people
from other
countries
, so it will set up relations of all
countries
. In conclusion,
this
competition
can help bring many benefits for
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
about respectability and many diplomatic relations
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
other
countries
.
Thus
, it is crucial to observe the massive opposition from the residents,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in order to prevent unpredictable conflicts.
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coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring your ideas are clearly organized, and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical progression. Use topic sentences for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Make sure each point is supported by clear, relevant evidence or examples.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas comprehensively. Some ideas in the current essay are too general or vague, lacking depth.
task achievement
You have addressed both views in the essay, which shows a good understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion and introduction are present, summarizing the main points discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to link sentences and ideas together, showing a basic understanding of coherence and cohesion principles.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global platform
  • sportsmanship
  • mutual respect
  • cultural exchange
  • global community
  • national pride
  • unifying force
  • economic benefits
  • tourism
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • financial burden
  • venues
  • logistics
  • debt
  • opportunity costs
  • sustainable benefits
  • temporary benefits
  • underutilized
  • long-term value
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