Many people who care for the elderly do not have anough time to look after them? What problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?
Nowadays, there is a significant challenge that many individuals caring for the old
people
have insufficent
time to look after them. I believe that the biggest issue is Correct your spelling
insufficient
risk
of accidents and falls at home, Add an article
a risk
the risk
however
, people
can use high-technological devices to support elderly
.
The foremost problem related to Correct article usage
the elderly
this
that
is physical and mental health issues for the elderly. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
means that when caregivers have insufficient time, older people
may face deterioration in their physical and mental health. As a result
, this
could include worsening chronic illnesses and increased feelings of loneliness and depression. Take Japan as a prime example, where the rate of old population is very high, people
always a caregiver for them and it cause
Change the verb form
causes
variety
of problems.
Another point worth Add an article
a variety
consideration
is that Replace the word
considering
this
major obstacle also
causes a lack of necessary medical care. It must be recognized that elderly
can easily suffer from mental health conditions like dementia. Correct article usage
the elderly
This
is because,
Remove the comma
apply
people
want to save their money or do not know much about a
medical care so they can provide enough medical equipment for the elderly.
When it comes to Remove the article
apply
solution
, citizens can use technology to support them in caring Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
older
Change preposition
for older
people
. There is no doubt that technology plays a crucial role in medical treatment. Consequently
, it can help elderly
mitigate the current predicament. Correct article usage
the elderly
For example
, many technological devices like online shopping, telemedicine and security cameras also
useful in curing.
In conclusion, despite insufficient time in caring, Add a missing verb
are also
people
should train older people
to look after themselves to minimize the
serious Correct article usage
apply
dilemma
. Fix the agreement mistake
dilemmas
However
, governments should have an offer for them to develop the countries.Submitted by [email protected] on
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general
Ensure ideas are fully developed and supported with specific examples. For instance, when mentioning the risks of accidents at home, include a more specific scenario or statistic.
coherence
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Make sure each idea smoothly transitions to the next to maintain a coherent structure.
language
Avoid minor language errors to enhance clarity. For example, 'high-technological devices' could be better phrased as 'advanced technological devices'.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a framework for the discussion.
task achievement
The main points address both the problems and the solutions, which is crucial for task achievement.
task achievement
The use of examples, like the situation in Japan, adds relevance to the arguments made.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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