Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to? What are some possible solutions?
Nowadays,
the
society Correct article usage
apply
more
and more Add a missing verb
is more
develop
, Wrong verb form
developed
the
volume of work Correct word choice
and the
have
more increased Change the verb form
has
therefore
, some individuals who care
for the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
do not have a lot of spare time
to take care
them
. The writer of Change preposition
of them
this
essay believe
that Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
this
problem can have a big effect
on theirlife
Correct your spelling
their life
such
as negative emotion
or have an influence on the income of Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
household
, yet it can be solved by Add an article
the household
a household
government
and many Correct article usage
the government
people
who want to take care
the older people
by paid
for a Change the form of the verb
paying
caresiner
or sent them to the retirement home.
The main Correct your spelling
caregiver
problems
is if the phenomenon Fix the agreement mistake
problem
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
mention
in the question Wrong verb form
mentioned
don't
find Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
the
way to Correct article usage
a
solve
, it can lead to some issues that have a negative Correct pronoun usage
solve it
effect
on the elderly. It must recognize
that the Wrong verb form
be recognised
emotion
of the elderly can break easily Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
therefore
, they can feel alone and sad. This
impact can cause some serious problems
which effect
Correct your spelling
affect
directively
on their health and some accidents that Correct your spelling
directly
directive
unpredicted
. Add a missing verb
are unpredicted
This
is true that in
some families are not only busy all the Change preposition
apply
time
of day
but Correct article usage
the day
also
can't talk or care
the
elderly when they Change preposition
for the
had
too little free Wrong verb form
have
time
.
Another factor may be the financial problems
that effect
Correct your spelling
affect
on
the income of the household. It can lead to many free Change preposition
apply
time
they have, they always spend it to go to work more
to improve Correct quantifier usage
apply
the
Change the word
their
earning
. Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
This
is a good idea, yet they have forgot
the feelings of the elderly and some demands of them Change the verb form
forgotten
such
as take
Wrong verb form
taking
care
them
or Change preposition
of them
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
talk
with them. It can be seen easily in HCM city which Wrong verb form
talking
the
most Add a missing verb
is the
develop
city in VietNam that Change the form of the verb
developed
require
the residents Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
must
hard-working in their Verb problem
to work
job
to improve Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
the
income.
To fully address Change the word
their
this
problem, there are two potential fixed that people
and government
can support together. Correct article usage
the government
Firstly
, people
can pay for a caresiner
rely on them to take Correct your spelling
caregiver
care
and
talk with the elderly at home. Change preposition
of and
Beside
that, if you are too Replace the word
Besides
much
busy, you can send them to Fix the agreement mistake
apply
the
retirement home to make a good environment for the elderly to live Correct article usage
a
and
forget Change preposition
in and
the
bad feelings Change the word
their
therefore
, it help
them become comfortable and happy.
In conclusion, the things that Change the verb form
helps
people
are busy when
they go to work and cannot spend more Change preposition
with when
time
in their free time
for the elderly is the serious problems
to the health and emtion
of the older Correct your spelling
emotion
people
. Therefore
, people
and the government must improve to make the elderly's life become happy and peacefull
.Correct your spelling
peaceful
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task achievement
Your essay presents a complete response to the task and covers both the problems and solutions. However, more relevant and specific examples would strengthen your argument further. Providing real-life scenarios or statistics could enhance your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear logical structure, there are some areas where the ideas could be expressed more clearly. For example, try using transitional phrases to connect your points better. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on only one main idea. Try to avoid mixing multiple points in a single paragraph, as it can make your argument less clear.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear starting point and a summary of your main points.
task achievement
You have addressed both the problems and potential solutions to the issue, covering the task requirements well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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