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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems association.

#people #language #communication #outweigh #association
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It is thought that a new international
language
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 should be created.
This
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 author thinks that the advantages of
convenience
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 and opportunities for young people outweigh the loss of culture. The first thing to mention is the
convenience
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 of
create
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creating
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 a standardized global
language
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. Indeed, there will be no
language
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 barrier,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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 of
difference
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different
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 countries can communicate more efficiently.
Moreover
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, the general
language
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make
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makes
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a
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apply
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development in import and export
due to
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 the
convenience
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in
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of
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 communicating.
According to
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this
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, the economy will
developed
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be developed
develop
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 in every
countries
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country
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 and the standard of life
is
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will be
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 improved. The second major benefit of investing
a
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in a
show examples
new international
language
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 is the increase in the opportunities of young people. Nowadays, the demand
of
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for
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 studying abroad of students is
increasingly
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an increasingly
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 high chance for
oversea
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overseas
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 students will improve if there is a new international
language
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. The visa to travel abroad will be cheaper and easier to gain.
On the other hand
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, the loss of culture is a big drawback of
this
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 innovation.
Language
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 is a crucial part
in
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of
show examples
 every culture of
ethnic
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ethnicity
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 or country, it represents
for
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apply
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the face of
country
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the country
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, the greatest invention of
human
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humans
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 in
this
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 nation.
Furthermore
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, every
ethnic
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ethnicity
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 has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own
language
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 the vocabulary more diverse because of the variety of
feature
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features
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 of each country.
Therefore
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, the
language
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 of each
ethnic
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ethnicity
show examples
 will not be in use and forgotten in the future. By a large, thanks to the
convenience
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 in daily life,
commercial
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commercials
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 and the opportunities for young generations, the disadvantages of cultural
problem
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problems
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 are unconsiderable.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides both advantages and disadvantages, but you should elaborate more on each point with relevant, specific examples. This will help to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to ensure coherence.
coherence cohesion
Although you have an introduction and a conclusion, they could be more robust. Your introduction should succinctly introduce the topic and outline the structure of your essay, while your conclusion should clearly restate your main argument and summarize the key points.
writing quality
There are some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings. For instance, 'the convenience of create' should be 'the convenience of creating,' and 'the language of each ethnic' should be 'the language of each ethnicity.' Working on grammar and sentence structure will enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good attempt to cover both sides of the argument, addressing both the benefits and the drawbacks of creating a new international language.
task achievement
You have some original and relevant ideas, such as the potential economic benefits and the impact on young people's opportunities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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