Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems association.
It is thought that a new international
language
should be created. This
author thinks that the advantages of convenience
and opportunities for young people outweigh the loss of culture.
The first thing to mention is the convenience
of create
a standardized global Change the verb form
creating
language
. Indeed, there will be no language
barrier, people
of Correct word choice
and people
difference
countries can communicate more efficiently. Replace the word
different
Moreover
, the general language
make
Change the verb form
makes
a
development in import and export Remove the article
apply
due to
the convenience
in
communicating. Change preposition
of
According to
this
, the economy will developed
in every Change the verb form
be developed
develop
countries
and the standard of life Change to a singular noun
country
is
improved.
The second major benefit of investingWrong verb form
will be
a
new international Change preposition
in a
language
is the increase in the opportunities of young people. Nowadays, the demand of
studying abroad of students is Change preposition
for
increasingly
high chance for Add an article
an increasingly
oversea
students will improve if there is a new international Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
language
. The visa to travel abroad will be cheaper and easier to gain.
On the other hand
, the loss of culture is a big drawback of this
innovation. Language
is a crucial part in
every culture of Change preposition
of
ethnic
or country, it represents Replace the word
ethnicity
for
the face of Change preposition
apply
country
, the greatest invention of Add an article
the country
human
in Fix the agreement mistake
humans
this
nation. Furthermore
, every ethnic
has Replace the word
ethnicity
their
own Correct pronoun usage
its
language
make
the vocabulary more diverse because of the variety of Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
feature
of each country. Fix the agreement mistake
features
Therefore
, the language
of each ethnic
will not be in use and forgotten in the future.
By a large, thanks to the Replace the word
ethnicity
convenience
in daily life, commercial
and the opportunities for young generations, the disadvantages of cultural Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
problem
are unconsiderable.Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides both advantages and disadvantages, but you should elaborate more on each point with relevant, specific examples. This will help to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to ensure coherence.
coherence cohesion
Although you have an introduction and a conclusion, they could be more robust. Your introduction should succinctly introduce the topic and outline the structure of your essay, while your conclusion should clearly restate your main argument and summarize the key points.
writing quality
There are some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings. For instance, 'the convenience of create' should be 'the convenience of creating,' and 'the language of each ethnic' should be 'the language of each ethnicity.' Working on grammar and sentence structure will enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good attempt to cover both sides of the argument, addressing both the benefits and the drawbacks of creating a new international language.
task achievement
You have some original and relevant ideas, such as the potential economic benefits and the impact on young people's opportunities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.