In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

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In many nations,
life
Add an article
the life

The noun phrase life span seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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span of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is longer than in the past. Some
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

say there are problems for the
government
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

if countries have a dramatic increase in the proportion of
people
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aged 60 and over. Others say if increase in ageing populations, there will
have
Verb problem
be

There may be a verb use issue here.

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benefits. I hold the belief that the drawbacks of
this
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development are far more significant than the benefits involved. When
people
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live longer , several problems can anticipated. First of all,
is
Correct pronoun usage
there is

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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an increased demand for health and social care.
In other words
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, it asks the
government
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to devote a larger budget to health care in other to serve the growing demands of an ageing
population
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Hence
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, investing more in healthcare for the elderly can put heavy pressure on
government
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

budgets.
As a result
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, the
government
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

cannot invest in different aspects that have benefits for their country.
This
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is true in Japan, the investment in healthcare for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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quadrupled for the working-age
population
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. These things may have a bad impact on the economy of Japan. The other drawback is a possible decline in
labour
Correct article usage
the labour

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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force with a rapidly ageing
population
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, there will be fewer
people
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in the workforce.
This
Linking Words

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leads to an economy with less storage of qualified workers.
Hence
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, businesses may face various consequences
such
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as decreased efficiency, higher labor costs and even
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb reduce. Consider changing it.

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competitiveness in the international market.
However
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, in reality, the ageing
population
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can bring advantages
such
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as free experiments and good training for
young
Correct article usage
the young

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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generation. The elderly live longer so they experience many things than young
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which means some of their knowledge is valuable and younger can learn from
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to avoid some risks in life. In conclusion, the disadvantages of the rising ageing
population
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

outweigh their advantages because it puts pressure on
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government
Correct article usage
the government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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budget and causes a lack of
qualitied
Correct your spelling
qualified

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workers.
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a complete response, but the arguments could be more fully developed. Consider adding more specific examples and elaborating on points made.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, it could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has one main idea that is clearly linked to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to proofread your essay for minor grammar and vocabulary errors. Although these do not significantly impact understanding, polishing these can help improve your overall score.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
supported main points
The main points are relevant to the task and supported by examples, which demonstrates a good level of understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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