Some people think watching television is bad for children in every way other belive it is good for devolping children as they grow up discuss both views and give your own opinion
In the present world tel developing constantly on the rise. we can see
itas
Correct your spelling
it is
apowerful
tool so people use it every single day become a part of our daily Correct your spelling
a powerful
powerful
life
,Even Fix the agreement mistake
lives
television
is coorpated in our life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
but
we noticed offspring relying on Correct word choice
apply
television
has become a new common habit.Therefore
we will analyse the advised idea
and the misadvice idea
of the offspring developing before giving a reasoned conclusion.
First,
television
is good for attractive
children to keep they are on the effective Replace the word
attracting
idea
to learn knowledge.For instance
, children are hard to sit down for a long time to learn. Thus
, television
is a good idea
to let them stay focusing
on learning,Wrong verb form
focused
as well as
television
can make the whole processing
of Replace the word
process
leaning
fun and attractive.In Correct your spelling
learning
oder
that as we can see Correct your spelling
order
television
is a powerful tool to let offspring while
they are learning can make the whole prossing
be fun so it is significant for developing offspring as they grow up.
Correct your spelling
processing
secondly
, television
also
can be a nightmare for offspring because we can not make sure every second we produce offspring good night to avoid adult context.For example
, television
can connect to the internet.thus
we can see a thousand of
adult Change preposition
apply
context
Fix the agreement mistake
contexts
in
Change preposition
on
television
,on top of that as a party can we make sure we draw a line to spare
between offspring and toxic context? basically,Verb problem
apply
that is
very to
attractive.
In conclusion,we can see both sides of the opinion on those factors.Change preposition
apply
However
, after analysed
both sides.it is clear we can not avoid offspring teaching toxic Wrong verb form
analysing
adudit
content.In Correct your spelling
audit
this
idea
obserly the disadvise factors are much more than advised
factors,in because of Correct article usage
the advised
this
television
is bad for offspring.Submitted by kelvin03133 on
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coherence
To improve clarity, ensure each sentence is grammatically correct and clear. Avoid run-on sentences and break complex ideas into simpler ones.
task response
Strengthen your main points with more specific examples and explanations. For instance, elaborate on how television helps in making learning fun with particular programs or methods.
coherence
Focus on avoiding spelling and typographical errors, such as 'tel' instead of 'television' and 'oder' instead of 'order.' Careful proofreading before submission can help.
coherence
Ensure that your paragraphs are logically structured, with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task response
You've covered both views on the topic and gave your own opinion, which is a good approach as per the task requirements.
task response
You've identified some key concerns about television being both beneficial and detrimental to children, which provides a balanced perspective.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?