Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information in many countries. This is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, in the majority of nations, technological advancement provides
an
unlimited access to vast Remove the article
apply
amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
information
in less than a second. Use synonyms
This
phenomenon puts Linking Words
the
societies Correct article usage
apply
in
great risk. I strongly agree with Change preposition
at
this
statement because Linking Words
the
viral videos might have negative impacts on children’s mental health and Correct article usage
apply
adults
might Use synonyms
expose
to fake Wrong verb form
be exposed
information
which Use synonyms
decrease
their efficiency at work.
On the one hand, children have Change the verb form
decreases
easily
access to the numerous Change the word
easy
information
with violent and aggressive Use synonyms
contents
on social media that might be shared by a person who suffers from personality disorders. These photos and videos are shared on the internet without any supervision and could convey Fix the agreement mistake
content
a
massive stress on children. Remove the article
apply
This
Linking Words
sence
of anxiety might Correct your spelling
sense
leads
the young generations to depression and isolation, and might have a destructive effect on their studies and their social skills. Change the verb form
lead
For instance
, if a child watched an assault attack video on Linking Words
the
Instagram, he or she would terrified and could not feel safe Correct article usage
apply
niether
at home Correct your spelling
either
nor
at school.
Correct word choice
or
On the other hand
,Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
adults
occupations could be harmed by technology development. Nowadays, the majority of employees google about every Use synonyms
tasks
at their workplace. They do not try to learn a new skill or seek Change to a singular noun
task
for
new knowledge, because they feel that they could find the best solution to their problem as soon as possible by surfing the net. Change preposition
apply
This
trend leads the Linking Words
labor
force to be unknowledgeable and uneducated. Change the spelling
labour
As a result
, Linking Words
the
society faces many issues Correct article usage
apply
due to
the insufficient Linking Words
Use synonyms
adults
who just pursue Correct quantifier usage
number of adults
the
false Correct article usage
apply
information
, which Use synonyms
are
spread on Change the verb form
is
the
blogs by ordinary people Correct article usage
apply
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
the
professionals, without any confirmation.
In conclusion, I Correct article usage
apply
believ
that Correct your spelling
believe
technology
progression has some Replace the word
technological
dangerouse
impacts not only on Correct your spelling
dangerous
the
children who might be scared by the aggressive Correct article usage
apply
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
on Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
adults
who impose Use synonyms
to
a huge sum of unreal Change preposition
apply
information
.Use synonyms
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on
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grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to avoid common errors such as subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments.
examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This can enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.