The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given bar chart
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
the data about the method that
children
from the age of 11 to 16 used to travel to school
within
Change preposition
in
show examples
the United Kingdom one particular year.
Overall
it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
chose to walk or
cylce
Correct your spelling
cycle
when the distance is under 2
miles
,
whereas
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
was a popular option for over 5
miles
distance.
In addition
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
no
children
chose
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
to travel by walking or cycling for the distance that
over
Add a missing verb
was over
show examples
2
miles
. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
journeys less than 1 mile, walking had the highest choice with exactly 90% ,and
also
higher than
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
40%.
However
, travelling by
car
and
bus
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
much
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
, only nearly 10% of
children
chose
this
way to travel under 1 mile. From 1 to 2
miles
, the majority of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
use
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
to go to school, about 78%
while
on foot was only 60%,
whereas
car
and
bus
were considerably lower, at 20% and 10%, respectively. In
2
Correct article usage
the 2
show examples
to 5
miles
category,
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
the most choice with approximately 50% and
Add an article
the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
was lower a little bit, about 49%,
moreover
,
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
and on foot were 25% and 31%, respectively.
Finally
, for over 5
miles
,
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
had the highest
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
of choice with 79%
while
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
was only 21%.
However
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
no selection in walking and cycling.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas, while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, miles, bus, car with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Modes of transportation
  • Percentage
  • Comparative analysis
  • Seasonal variations
  • External factors
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Non-motorized modes
  • Safety
  • Convenience
  • Sustainable
  • Initiatives
  • Promoting
  • Improvements
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