Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organizations. Why might this be the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

In recent times, workers prefer to be
self employed
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self-employed
show examples
instead
of
work
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working
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for a company or organisation.
This
essay will discuss
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the cause
show examples
cause
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causes
show examples
of people’s
prefers
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preferences
show examples
and
then
what
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be disadvantages of being self-employed. People prefer to
self-employed
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be self-employed
show examples
instead
of
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
in a company or organization because they don’t want to
work
tied to a workplace or under the boss. The boss’ behaviours are too bad
to
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for
show examples
employees. They behave like a slave. The salary which
given
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is given
show examples
to
employee
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employees
show examples
is too low but they
work
a
lot
. Their working conditions are very difficult and tiring. They
work
too long hours in a day but they can’t earn enough money. For these reasons, people want to set up one’s own business.
Thus
, they can
work
on human conditions. Of course, there are some disadvantages in that
decided
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decision
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. If workers want to
being
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be
show examples
self-employed, they will have a
lot
of responsibilities.
Manage to
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Managing
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a workplace
not
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is not
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easy. A person who
want
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wants
show examples
to be a boss,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should
has
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have
show examples
financial information and experience. There is
possibility
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the possibility
a possibility
show examples
of
make
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making
show examples
a loss sometimes. A boss should be bellicose because self-employed has a
lot
of difficulties. If a person
do
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does
show examples
not have many
acquaintance
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acquaintances
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, it is so risky.
Self-employed
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Being self-employed
show examples
is very
mantally
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mentally
exhausting. Sometimes have to
more
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do more
show examples
work
than big companies or
organisation
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organisations
show examples
. To put it
a
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in a
show examples
nutshell, there are many workers who want to
being
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be
show examples
self-employed and there are a
lot
of causes
that
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for that
show examples
situation. Self-employed has some disadvantages and difficulties. Everyone can’t create a new job.
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from clearer and more comprehensive ideas, ensuring they are well-explained and detailed.
task achievement
Using more specific and relevant examples would strengthen the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure needs improvement to ensure that ideas flow smoothly from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion should be more elaborate, with the introduction clearly outlining what will be discussed and the conclusion summarizing the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Supporting main points with additional details and elaborations would improve the overall quality of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response by addressing both prompts: reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the task, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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