Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, some
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
fashion
accessories are very expensive. other
people
claim that
this
is acceptable because
fashion
is a very necessary part of life. in my point of view,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think I agree with both opinions.
Initially
,
Clothes
made
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
famous
fashion
brands
will be more expensive than other
clothes
. Many famous
clothes
brands
always want to create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unique and different from the popular
clothes
so they will choose special patterns to design
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
complete
clothes
so the
price
increases
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
normal.
for instance
,
luis vuitton
Correct your spelling
Louis Vuitton
uses
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
logo to print on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shirt
Fix the agreement mistake
shirts
show examples
to make the
clothes
more
eye -catching
Correct your spelling
eye-catching
show examples
, which helps the company increase the
price
of the item because it attracts many buyers.
in addition
, Material is
also
the cause of
clothes
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
up.
People
want
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shirt
Fix the agreement mistake
shirts
show examples
not only beautiful but
also
durable so
fashion
brands
must meet their needs by using quality materials.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
example, the
brands
Fix the agreement mistake
brand
show examples
lacoste
Change the capitalization
Lacoste
show examples
uses crocodile skin to make
very
Add an article
a very
the very
show examples
beautiful wallet.
However
, Some
people
feel dissatisfied because the
price
of big
brands
is too expensive. They wish to be able to own some
clothes
they find beautiful but the
price
of that outfit prevented them from buying it and they thought that the clothing company should drop to the
price
more appropriate.
Overall
, an expensive outfit depends on the material and the difference compared to other clothing
brands
. But some
clothes
are still virtual prices compared to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
real
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
, so I agree with two view
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task achievement
Your essay would be enhanced by providing more balanced coverage of both views. Delving a bit deeper into the second argument will create a more comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical and punctuation errors that affect the readability of your essay. Paying attention to these details will improve your writing.
coherence cohesion
To achieve a clearer structure, ensure each main idea is discussed in its own paragraph and is fully developed with supporting details.
task achievement
You have provided some relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
task achievement
Your essay shows a clear effort to present both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic gap
  • impractical consumer behavior
  • overspending
  • accumulation of debt
  • materialism
  • superficial values
  • self-esteem
  • self-expression
  • psychological benefits
  • social benefits
  • quality of materials
  • craftsmanship
  • sustainable practices
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