Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowdays
, some Correct the word
Nowadays
people
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
fashion
accessories are very expensive. other people
claim that this
is acceptable because fashion
is a very necessary part of life. in my point of view, i
think I agree with both opinions.
Change the capitalization
I
Initially
, Clothes
made from
famous Change preposition
by
fashion
brands
will be more expensive than other clothes
. Many famous clothes
brands
always want to create a
unique and different from the popular Correct article usage
apply
clothes
so they will choose special patterns to design a
complete Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
clothes
so the price
increases is
normal. Change the verb form
are
for instance
, luis vuitton
uses Correct your spelling
Louis Vuitton
special
logo to print on Add an article
a special
the
Correct article usage
apply
shirt
to make the Fix the agreement mistake
shirts
clothes
more eye -catching
, which helps the company increase the Correct your spelling
eye-catching
price
of the item because it attracts many buyers. in addition
, Material is also
the cause of clothes
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
go
up. Wrong verb form
going
People
want the
Correct article usage
apply
shirt
not only beautiful but Fix the agreement mistake
shirts
also
durable so fashion
brands
must meet their needs by using quality materials. for
example, the Capitalize word
For
brands
Fix the agreement mistake
brand
lacoste
uses crocodile skin to make Change the capitalization
Lacoste
very
beautiful wallet.
Add an article
a very
the very
However
, Some people
feel dissatisfied because the price
of big brands
is too expensive. They wish to be able to own some clothes
they find beautiful but the price
of that outfit prevented them from buying it and they thought that the clothing company should drop to the price
more appropriate.
Overall
, an expensive outfit depends on the material and the difference compared to other clothing brands
. But some clothes
are still virtual prices compared to its
real Correct pronoun usage
their
price
, so I agree with two viewFix the agreement mistake
prices
Submitted by duongntt.tld on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay would be enhanced by providing more balanced coverage of both views. Delving a bit deeper into the second argument will create a more comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical and punctuation errors that affect the readability of your essay. Paying attention to these details will improve your writing.
coherence cohesion
To achieve a clearer structure, ensure each main idea is discussed in its own paragraph and is fully developed with supporting details.
task achievement
You have provided some relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
task achievement
Your essay shows a clear effort to present both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.