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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph shows the number of fatal injuries (resulting in death) of workers in New Zealand between 1992 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of fatal injuries (resulting in death) of workers in New Zealand between 1992 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#injuries #death #workers #zealand #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph showcases the percentage of perimortem injuries in the workforce, in New Zealand , in the years 1992 and 2011. Generally , the most common trauma among workers that went through
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 Roadway Industry for both years.
While
 the least encountered is drowning in the water places. Observing the statistics more deeply , employees from various companies went through vehicle accidents less than 20% in 1992, though in 2011 the number of
such
 scenes increased by about 5% respectively. Despite
this
 , labourers whose
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
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 reason
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 electrical shock , suicide drowning
not
Add a missing verb
did not
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 reach even 5% of the entire community , some other causes as Homicide or Falling from high levels of buildings reached more or less 10-15% proportion . In conclusion , New Zealand occurrences mostly
deacreased
Correct your spelling
decreased
,
although
 some options slightly increased in proportion to the 20th century.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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