IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

На двух картах ниже показаны изменения, произошедшие в городе Денхэм с 1986 года по настоящее время. Обобщите информацию, выбрав и сообщив основные характеристики, и проведите сравнение, где это необходимо.

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The two maps
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 how the
town
Use synonyms
 named Denham
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been reconstructed from 1986 to nowadays .
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen the biggest changes have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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occurred on the west-southern
side
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 of
village
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the village
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,
while
Linking Words
 the northern part
stay
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stays
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 almost unchanged . The first map shows the village plan in 1986. There was
bridge
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a bridge
the bridge
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 on the northern
side
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 of
town
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.
Further
Linking Words
 down the trail were seven
houses
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 and two stores below ,
while
Linking Words
 on the other
side
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 of the street was
primary
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a primary
the primary
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 school which was the main educational activity of the
town
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 .
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 there
was
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were
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 farmlands ,
that is
Linking Words
 on the west-southern and north-eastern
side
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 of the village.
Finally
Linking Words
, there was
post
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a post
the post
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 office in the
center
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centre
show examples
 of the
town
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 and large
houses
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 surrounded by gardens .
Whereas
Linking Words
 the second map demonstrates the change which happened over
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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the given period. The first observable trait is the bridge which
have been
Wrong verb form
has
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stayed unchanged .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 on the old place of shops and farmland
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been
build
Change the verb form
building
built
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array
Add an article
an array
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 of
houses
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 for residents.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , two new student blocks have been reconstructed around the elementary school.
While
Linking Words
 the south
side
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 of
town
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 has been completely changed, meaning three large
houses
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 have been converted into homes for the elderly but the main part of gardens around it completely disappeared.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'illustrates' instead of 'illustrates' and inappropriate use of commas.
structure
Ensure a coordinated introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly explain the task at hand, and the conclusion should summarize the main points of your comparison.
analysis
Although you have provided a complete response, try to deepen your analysis by comparing specific features in more detail and offering more precise descriptions.
content
You have provided a detailed account of changes in Denham town from 1986 to the present, showcasing a good understanding of the maps.
details
You have identified key changes and preserved significant details about the town's development, such as construction of new housing units and changes to the educational system.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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