Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Sience and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Schools which follow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional education
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
taught the same topics since ancient times.
Therefore
, many people argue that '
History
' should be widely learnt, considering it one of the vital subjects.
Nevertheless
, there are many other topics to be taught in order to acquire integral knowledge. I consider
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
all subjects
are
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
crucial not only
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
high school but
also
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
middle school. In
this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To begin
with, all
students
should learn about the
history
of their countries
as well as
the most preponderant worldwide historical events because it leads to a sense of belonging.
Besides
, it is well known that those who have no knowledge about their own
history
will have the same defeats.
Additionally
, since most countries in the world follow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
democracy and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suffrage as representations of their population, everyone must know how to vote conscientiously by learning their entire
history
.
For example
, in Colombia,
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
was proved that most people do not know about their most crucial events in the past,
thus
they avoid voting because there are no forms to justify their elections.
On the other hand
, humankind should learn about more skills, mainly those that are considered cutting-edge tools.
This
is exemplified by 'Technology' and 'Science' which are crucial topics that should be known by humanity.
As a consequence
of
this
, nowadays, learning about programming code, machine learning, and artificial intelligence is mandatory in almost all schools.
For instance
, in 2020, there was
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research performed in the United States which
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
that most people who graduated from any
undergraduated
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
program should acquire those techniques in order to have
more rate
Replace the word
a higher
show examples
rate of employability.
To sum up
, all subjects are crucial to be taught by
students
either during high school or
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
in order to raise integral
students
.
Nevertheless
, most
students
should focus on their own skills.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You can improve Task Response by providing a more balanced discussion. Give equal attention to both views in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure you clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion to make your stance unmistakable.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay easier to read and follow.
coherence cohesion
Review the use of complex sentences to improve clarity and ensure grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough discussion of both viewpoints, covering the importance of history as well as science and technology.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used effectively to support the main points, such as the example of Colombia and the US research.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: