Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvatages?

#say #majority #employees #home #workplace #disadvatages

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Six years ago,

people

lived in the old era where they worked every day by travelling to

physical

Add an article

a physical

show examples

office, but now after COVID-19, a lot of

people

find it convenient to

work

from

home

This

situation has many advantages over taking a journey to a workplace every day.

To begin

with, one of the advantages

work

from

home

is reduced costs, all the

people

spend a lot of money on the cost of the journey,

therefore

they are unable to save much money for their future. but now, when they do their job from

home

, they can save a lot of money for necessities in their lives.

For instance

, they are able to purchase many pieces of equipment to complete their

home

such

a new furniture

Remove the article

new furniture

a piece of new furniture

an item of new furniture

show examples

or new things that they want.

Besides

, by reducing the cost of the journey, they can prepare for the future life of their children when their son or daughter enters in new step in education.

In addition

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

work

from

home

, they never afraid to come late for their

work

because impossible to meet with traffic

jamp

Correct your spelling

jams

show examples

. They can enjoy their daily activity without worrying about reduced salaries when they come late to their office.

People

are

also

able to do other workhouses during theirs do

work

because staying at

home

For instance

, when they

work

in front of a device and their brother or parents need some help, they can do it immediately and leave their job for may time without disturbing another employee because they

work

in houses with each other.

This

condition never they met if they still

work

in a physical office. In conclusion, the advantages of working from

home

outweigh of disadvantages because

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has many positive impacts on employees, like to be explained above,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the employees gain more convenience and have a big impact on their future lives, especially on their families.

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Tue Jun 04 2024

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task achievement

You have presented a complete response and covered the main points, but ensure to elaborate on your ideas more comprehensively to enhance clarity. For instance, explain specific examples in greater detail and connect them explicitly to your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, work on making smoother transitions between ideas and sections to improve flow and coherence. Additionally, varied sentence structure can aid in maintaining reader interest.

grammar

There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings present. Revise your essay to eliminate these errors for a more polished presentation. For example, replace 'they are able to purchase many pieces of equipment to complete their home' with 'they can purchase various items they need for their home.'

task achievement

You have effectively addressed the advantages of working from home, with relevant points such as cost savings and avoiding traffic, which makes for a convincing argument about the benefits.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well. The points are logically organized, providing a coherent reading experience.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvatages?

Your opinion

Some people think students can evaluate their teachers while others think it may have some bad effects discuss. Do you agree or disagree?

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Lack of fresh water is becoming global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what are the effects?

consumer are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?