Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is an idea that
people
Use synonyms
after graduation, regardless
women
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of women
show examples
, have to participate in the army system in their nation. the writer of
this
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essay strongly
support
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supports
show examples
that suggestion for several reasons. The key aspect
to
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of
show examples
why
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should apply the policy of forcing individuals who have just left their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
behind in
military
Correct article usage
the military
show examples
as an
honor
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honour
show examples
is that in the course of
army
Correct article usage
the army
show examples
environment, participants can enhance their independent persona. To put it simply, they have to do daily tasks
by
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on
show examples
their own, and
also
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have to deal with punctuality,
otherwise
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facing the punishments of the region captain. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result, the discipline would
also
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be improved, without any mention
about
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of
show examples
gaining
a
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apply
show examples
sustainable health after the time in service. Providing a
premilinary
Correct your spelling
preliminary
resource of
army
Add an article
the army
show examples
will be considered as the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
reason for
people
Use synonyms
to be in military service. To explain
further
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, in case of war, the number of
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soldiers
soliders
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soldiers
going
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through
throught
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through
training would be an ideal forces that lead to victory.
Also
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, those
people
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will be coerced to work as an
honor
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honour
show examples
for the nation,
such
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as helping in
Correct article usage
the alriculture
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alriculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
of the nearby areas, and
also
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doing charity
works
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work
show examples
.
To sum up
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,
this
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is the fact that
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
people
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who have just
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
graduated or ended
up
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apply
show examples
their
ecademic
Correct your spelling
academic
education
in
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to
show examples
military service would be a potential improvement not only for themself but
also
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for the nation.
This
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affirmation
appearing
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appears
show examples
bases
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based
show examples
on the reasons that those who join in will develop their good personas
as well as
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the
country
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country's
show examples
industry will be enhanced
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grammar
Ensure all sentences are complete and free from major grammatical errors.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to help the essay flow better between points.
task achievement
The essay has a clear stance and provides reasons to support it.
coherence and cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main idea.
complete response
The essay discusses multiple reasons for the stance, providing a balanced view.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory
  • Military service
  • Conscription
  • Patriotism
  • National security
  • Social equality
  • Discipline
  • Physical fitness
  • Life skills
  • Job training
  • Infringement
  • Conscripts
  • Gender equality
  • Mandatory
  • Economy
  • Education system
  • Labor market
  • Civil service
  • Alternative forms
  • Balanced view
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