Some people think that building tall building is the best way to create more housing space, while other people believe it's better to build many houses on land. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the present world, a lot of
people
especially young working people
tend to live in the city center or near the industrial areas more than rural areas. These are the reasons why the
Correct article usage
apply
accommodation
like Fix the agreement mistake
accommodations
condominiums
and apartment blocks have constructed
Add a missing verb
been constructed
nearby
the city. Some individuals believe that high-rise building is the most efficient way to create more housing Correct your spelling
near
space
while
others think that build
Wrong verb form
building
the
Correct article usage
apply
houses
on land
is better. I personally think that living in the
Correct article usage
a
house
is far better in utilizing space
than in condominium
. Correct article usage
a condominium
Though they
both have pros and cons, described in the following paragraphs.
Correct word choice
They
To begin
with, it is undeniable that nowadays humans prefer living near their job even though they need to live in such
a smaller room than they used to lived
in their home. Change the verb form
live
Following
this
, living in high-rise condominiums
are
a good choice because of some advantages Correct subject-verb agreement
is
such
as convenient commute, the vertical space
is
utilized efficiently in the limited vertical area, and most Wrong verb form
being
of
Change preposition
apply
condominiums
offer free facilities like a swimming pool and a fitness Add an article
the condominiums
center
. Change the spelling
centre
In
Change preposition
On
contrary
, living in Correct article usage
the contrary
this
type of accommodation also
cause
some disadvantages because of the cluster of Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
people
packed in the
one building, increasing the stress. To illustrate, Correct article usage
apply
people
who live in condominiums
with other members will have a
limited personal Remove the article
apply
space
and sometimes need to share the space
with others, can
cause Correct pronoun usage
which can
the
stress and low personal Correct article usage
apply
space
. While living
in Correct word choice
Living
the
Correct article usage
a
house
on land
may tackle this
problem.
On the one hand, living in a house
property on land
can bring more benefits such
as the houses
will have
more Wrong verb form
having
space
for each members
Change to a singular noun
member
Change preposition
of
in
the family, the Change preposition
of
house offers
more green Wrong verb form
offering
space
, allowing Replace the word
cultivation
cultivate
some trees or flowers, lower Replace the word
cultivation
people
in the horizontal area making not packed population which leading to peaceful
feeling. Add an article
the peaceful
For instance
, people
who plan to adopting
Change the verb
adopt
the a
pet or Choose an article
a
having
a kid would prefer choosing Wrong verb form
have
living
in Wrong verb form
live
house
because there are more spaces for growing and fostering Add an article
a house
the house
an
incremental family members. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
On the other hand
, houses
also
have a drawback, comparing
with the same Wrong verb form
compared
space
of condominium, the under-middle class person cannot affords
the prices of both Change the verb form
afford
land
and the house
.
To conclude
, Living in many houses
on land
would bring more positive influences, not only the way of efficiently manage
the utilizing Wrong verb form
managing
space
in horizontal areas but also
less cluster of the habitants. At the same time, land
and houses
would be more expensive than flats or condominiums
which may not affordable
for poverty or lower-class citizens.Add a missing verb
be affordable
Submitted by pnakasont on
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coherence cohesion
Try to develop a more logical structure in your essay. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and connects clearly to your main argument.
task achievement
Work on organizing and developing your ideas more clearly. Make sure your arguments are easy to follow and that each paragraph focuses on a single main point.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt and addresses both views as required.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay includes some relevant specific examples to illustrate your points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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