When aksed to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued that some
people
believed
that they prefer a life without Wrong verb form
believe
work
rather than working all the time. This
essay disagrees with this
viewpoint and will now set out some examples of the benefits of working to support that reasoning.
It is vital to understand that working most of the time is one of the most effective ways to move up the career ladder. People
prefer to have a steady job and set daily routine
. Fix the agreement mistake
routines
Moreover
, a friendly working environment is an
essential to be enjoyable. In working, you can have supportive Change the article
apply
work
colleagus
to build strong Correct your spelling
colleagues
colleague
relationship
and enjoy the challenge of a heavy workload. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
For example
, many UK companies ensure that standards of health and safety in the workplace and observed to employees have made life easier.
Another point to consider is that choosing not to work
is one of the ways to made
Wrong verb form
make
people
feel comfortable. As a result
, overwork may sometimes result in mental health problems, such
as anxiety and depression. Besides
, others find too much work
very stressful. Many young people
enjoy the excitement of a profession to the boring
of a desk job. For Replace the word
boredom
instant
, in Vietnam, some Replace the word
instance
people
do something else which they enjoy it
when they not Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
work
.
In conclusion, working all the time has a both positive and negative effect on their life. It depends on individuals how to do it effectively. This
writer has been shown the benefits of working to overshadow.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Try to tie examples directly to the points you are making.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is easily understandable. Some sentences could be more clearly related to the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and word choice to enhance clarity. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased and can be made more concise.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt comprehensively; discuss both sides if relevant.
coherence cohesion
Revise your conclusion to make it clearer and more aligned with the arguments presented. A strong conclusion summarizes key points effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both the merits and drawbacks of working most of the time.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage for the essay topic and viewpoint clearly.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?