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Writing Samples /
Band 5

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#life #work #time #people
In today’s world, when it comes to career and life, more and more people
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 want to work rather than
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a job. In my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
 point, because it can lead to an economic downturn, and have a negative effect on association.
To begin
 with, it would be wrong to insist that having an enjoyable without work is more beneficial for them. The main reason is that if the labour market accounting fewer workers,
this
 will discourage productivity, which can result in a slow economy.
For instance
, if a country has a myriad of problems in finance, it will have been difficult to deal with diseases, and disasters and protect its territory.
Therefore
, by having an underdeveloped economy, citizens always bear to the poverty.
On the other hand
, unemployment is one of the most common reasons why that cause crime in
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
. Not having a job, individuals will become criminals or homeless,
due to
 the lack of quality in their lives. Take an example in the USA, which has the highest homelessness. Those who usually attack travellers to steal fortunes
such
 as money, bags and watches. It must
also
 be noted that remaining unemployed in the long term would cause more people who are poverty-stricken and harm
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society.
Thus
, it can be seen that leading an unpressured lifestyle without making money is more disadvantageous for the country, because of the preventative development and bad issues in society
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your position on the topic. In the current essay, the introduction is a little unclear and has minor grammatical issues.
logical structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should have one main idea that is well-supported with examples and explanations.
relevant specific examples
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points. The examples should be specific and directly related to the points being made.
complete response
Your essay addresses the task and provides a clear response to the question, which is essential for a good score in task achievement.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have good ideas and points that are relevant to the topic, which indicates a good understanding of the subject.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
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