Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #education #years

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The majority of people believe that individuals should learn full-time for 18

years

education

due to

the number of benefits

such

as skills, knowledge, and the opportunities given to the jobs in near impending.

This

author absolutely agrees with

this

statement.

To begin

with,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

full-time information of at least 18

years

provides enough knowledge for planned jobs.

This

means during eighteen

years

education

, recruitment can assimilate a range of intelligence like logical thinking, critical thinking, and active minding or

solving-problem

Correct your spelling

solving

show examples

which are the most essential abilities to help people have a good attitude and assessment in the near ultimate jobs.

For example

, Nguyen Khuyen private school in Ho Chi Minh City always celebrates pupils' numerous extra-curricular activities

such

Physics

Correct article usage

the Physics

show examples

club, Chemistry group, and doing a lot of experiments so enlistment

participate

Change the verb form

participates

show examples

in and transmit new information. And Nguyen

Khuyen

Change noun form

Khuyen's

show examples

admission

are

Change the verb form

show examples

usually active, effective, and sociable.

Besides

that, enough time for

education

helps people with the chance the work with a good salary, suitable for their own. It is valid to understand that

education

helps the community improve the skills needed for the forthcoming day.

Moreover

, schools are the place can contact and get in touch with others,

while

the relationship is extremely essential for future chances. Many offices recognize and direct admission to you

due to

the information and database of your ability in your old academy, it is one of the advantages of academic

education

As a result

, most of the students at Ho Chi Minh City University of

Education

are going to have a straight appliance in many schools to be a teacher after graduating.

Hence

, studying for at least 8

years

in institutions is important and vital for pupils

due to

the chances given and the numerous skills that help you in real life and in your careers.

This

is no argument that universities and colleges play an important role in human development, and even individual intelligence and opportunity.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your arguments are clearly stated and follow a logical sequence. You can achieve this by outlining your essay before you start writing.

task achievement

Improve task achievement by providing more detailed explanations and stronger examples to support your points.

task achievement

Review grammar and vocabulary to avoid small mistakes that may slightly detract from the clarity of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.

task achievement

You have included relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the mention of Nguyen Khuyen private school and Ho Chi Minh City University of Education.

task achievement

Your main points are relevant to the topic and contribute to the argument you are making.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

comprehensive education
intellectual growth
emotional growth
social growth
evolving job market
specialized knowledge
extended education
reducing inequality
essential competencies
vocational training
economic impact
financial constraints
infrastructure
stress and burnout
personal aspirations
career aspirations

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Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many places,new home are needed,but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this

In the future all cars, busses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?