Some people say that individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Whether what
individuals
have done to protect the environment
can make a difference is a controversial discussion point. This
writer contends that actions done by these individuals
had a limited impact
,
because they lack Remove the comma
apply
government
funding and do not have sufficient human resource
, Fix the agreement mistake
resources
although
some may hold the opposing view due to
the large population of citizens.
It must be noticed
that efforts of environmental Verb problem
noted
protection
by the
Correct article usage
apply
individuals
are unable to create considerable changes
because they lack money. This
is due to
the fact that the plans
by these people
usually have not got the
permission from their local authorities. Without being acknowledged or asked to permit the operation, the local Correct article usage
apply
government
will not be able to financially support the locals' environmental protection
plans
. Combining
with the limited budget that each Wrong verb form
Combined
individuals
have, as a result
, organizers of these operations will not be able to afford sufficient tools to make a positive and radical
Correct the article-noun agreement
positive and radical changes
a positive and radical change
changes
to their environment
. Thus
, unless supported financially by the local authorities, individuals
' effort
to protect the Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
environment
will not be able to make difference
.
Correct article usage
a difference
However
, there are still people
believe
that Correct pronoun usage
who believe
individuals
alone can create changes
just by relying on the large population of them in the society. Because of the belief that with
small efforts are summed up, Change preposition
apply
people
are believed to be able to create big shifts with the power of unity. As credible as this
may seem, this
is not true because it can only be achieved via legislations
and operations funded by Fix the agreement mistake
legislation
government
. Add an article
the government
For instance
, a neighborhood
cannot be clean with the effort of only a small group of local dwellers compared to a Change the spelling
neighbourhood
plan
organized and subsidized by the local government
encouraging all the people
in the area to clean the same place. Therefore
, individuals
are unable to have a significant and positive impact
on the environment
unless supported by the higher-ups.
This
writer believes that the reason why most environmental protection
plans
do not create enough impact
is insufficient human resource
. By not having enough money to support the operation, Fix the agreement mistake
resources
people
will not be persuaded that the plan
itself will make their area cleaner. Consequently
, less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
will be encouraged to participate in the protection
work while
making the Correct word choice
apply
plan
impossible. Another example for
Change preposition
of
this
is when organizers of environmental protection
plans
do not have sufficient fund
to buy Fix the agreement mistake
funds
tools
required, volunteers will be inclined towards the thought that the Correct article usage
the tools
plan
will not work and they will retreat from assisting the proposed plan
.
In conclusion, in spite of the belief that depending solely on the
unity can make Correct article usage
apply
changes
to the environment
, the efforts made will not have enough impact
due to
lack
of Correct article usage
the lack
government
subsidy and workforce. Hence
, this
author is inclined towards the opinion that individuals
are unable to create changes
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task achievement
Overall, this essay does a good job of exploring both points of view, but it could be strengthened by including more relevant specific examples. For example, mentioning specific initiatives led by individuals or how collective individual actions led to significant environmental improvements would make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
You have a good logical structure and your ideas flow well. However, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly would enhance the essay's coherence even further. Using more transitional phrases could make it clearer how each paragraph builds on the previous one.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively summarize the main points of your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view and effectively discusses both perspectives on the issue, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
supported main points
You support your main points with relevant reasons, contributing to a persuasive argument overall.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example