Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?
Nowadays, many individuals
who
do not have enough time to take Correct pronoun usage
apply
care
for
Change preposition
of
the
elderly Correct article usage
apply
people
. To what express, will consider to my opinion.
It must be acknowledged thaty
elder Correct your spelling
that
people
cannot take care
for
Change preposition
of
themelves
completely, Correct your spelling
themselves
also
it is more
greater to get risky of having a lot of accidents at home. Change the word
apply
For example
, elder people
do not have enough energy or their bones are weak. It is meaned
that they Correct your spelling
meant
cannot
do anything without nobody Wrong verb form
could not
besides
.
Another point worth Correct pronoun usage
besides them
consideration
is elder Replace the word
considering
people
suffer from mental conditions. For instance
, some people
sometimes forget somethings
or cannot exactly remember, it can be called Correct your spelling
some things
by
dementia. Not only mental conditions, but Change preposition
apply
also
negativ
Correct your spelling
negative
effect
health. To be honest, both of these can make elderly Fix the agreement mistake
effects
people
the
sense of loneliness Correct article usage
a
isolution
, depression and anxiety.
Correct your spelling
isolation
On the other hand
, there are some community centers and activities for the elder
to socialize with others. Today, a lot of Replace the word
elderly
centers
for Change the spelling
centres
Correct article usage
the elder
elder
are opened Fix the agreement mistake
elders
for
help Change preposition
to
elder
Replace the word
elderly
people
reduce the risk of accident
and loneliness. Following Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
Change preposition
apply
with
the technology, Change preposition
apply
Correct article usage
apply
the
secure cameras which Correct article usage
apply
is
useful Change the verb form
are
Correct word choice
and also
also
necessary for Correct word choice
and also
family
do not have enough time Add an article
a family
the family
Fix the infinitive
to take
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
care
Change preposition
of
for
their grand.
Change preposition
of
Thus
, it can be seen that more problems are caused by home care
for the elderly such
as money spent on pills and injuries. Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that urgent action needs to be taken in the form of getting political help and paying for a caregiver.Submitted by [email protected] on
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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of phrases and improve sentence structures for more clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow and clearly link ideas between paragraphs. Each paragraph should logically lead to the next.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples to support your points and avoid vague statements.
introduction conclusion
In the introduction, clearly state the purpose and structure of the essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses important problems related to the care of the elderly.
task achievement
Attempted to provide potential solutions to the issues discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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