Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them.
It is often argued that people who take care of senior citizens do not have enough
time
for themselves. This
can cause problems about
one’s career and cost Change preposition
with
implication
but can be solved by flexible working arrangements and the supply from Fix the agreement mistake
implications
government
.
The underlying root of the problem is the aged cannot look after themselves, so the family members must care for them. Add an article
the government
Therefore
, they will find their work difficult to manage the time
to fit with
their schedules. Change preposition
into
As a result
, the descendants lose their work or be
criticized by their boss. Wrong verb form
are
This
is true in Vietnam where the younger have to stay at home and look after the elder
Replace the word
elderly
I
lieu of going to work.
Another factor may be the needs of the aged Correct your spelling
in
is
various. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
In other words
, family members must spend a large amount of money buying personal items, so it charges a lot. Consequently
, the care of the aged leads to the struggled
of money for numerous Replace the word
struggle
circumstance
.
Perhaps a solution to the problem of looking after Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
elderly
is to be found in Correct article usage
the elderly
from
of flexible working arrangements. The most effective approach is to rearrange the schedule, Correct your spelling
form
this
situation can lead to having time
for senior individuals.
Thus
, it can be seen that losing jobs results from spending too much time
in the sixties and over age group. Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that urgent action needs to be taken in the form of rearranging the timetables.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction could be improved by giving a brief outline of the main points you will discuss. This will give the reader a clearer idea of your essay's direction from the start.
logical structure
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the logical structure of your essay. This will help to make your writing more fluid and coherent.
supported main points
Ensure that all the main points you make are well-supported with relevant examples or detailed explanation. For instance, use specific examples to illustrate how flexible working arrangements can help caregivers manage their responsibilities more effectively.
complete response
Consider expanding on each point a bit more to provide a more complete response. This will show that you fully understand the topic and can discuss it in-depth.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses some of the key issues related to caring for the elderly.
logical structure
Each paragraph follows a logical order and the ideas are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.