We can get knowledge from news. But some people even think we should not trust the journalists. What do you think? And what do you think are the important qulities that a journalist should have?
In some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
university
students
live at home
with their family while
they study
, whereas
in other countries
students
attend university
in another city.
Do you think the benefits of living away from home
during university
outweigh the disadvantages?
Today, in some countries
students
live at home
with their family, but in some cases, students
live in another city out of home
. From my point of view, there are more advantages to study
abroad and Wrong verb form
studying
live
away from Wrong verb form
living
parents
than disadvantages.
Correct pronoun usage
my parents
Firstly
, education outside of a family is a good life
experience
. A university
can be first
stage of a mature Change the article
the first
life
. In most cases, young people
should start solving adult problems such
as rent loading, interact
with payments and Wrong verb form
interacting
communication
with strange Replace the word
communicating
people
. At
the beginning, it will be difficult to adapt Change the preposition
In
for
new issues and Change preposition
to
environment
. Another disadvantage is that Fix the agreement mistake
environments
students
miss their families. However
, it is a useful experience
for whole life
. For instance
, after graduating from high school, I chose to study
abroad in Moscow. Life
out of home
and family was very difficult, but at the same time, it was wonderful
and helpful Add an article
a wonderful
experience
.
Secondly
, studying abroad gives a
chance to learn Correct pronoun usage
me a
new
cultures and make new friends. Change preposition
about new
For example
, a lot of young people
study
in foreign countries
nowadays. It is an incredible opportunity to learn about new
culture. During my education at the Add an article
a new
university
, I took part in a student exchange program and studied a
semester Change preposition
for a
at
Paris'. During Change preposition
in
this
time, I became acquainted with French museums, cuisine, and language. Moreover
, I met new friends with whom I keep in touch still.
To sum up
, education outside of hometown has more advantages than disadvantages. At
the early stages, it can be difficult to adapt Change preposition
In
for
a new place. Change preposition
to
As a result
, young people
gain wonderful impressions and experience
.Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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task achievement
The introduction is clear but could be further strengthened by slightly expanding on the context. Consider giving a brief mention of the factors influencing this decision for students.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, ensure that each paragraph centers around one main idea. The first paragraph could be split into two, one focusing on life experience and the other on missing family.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases such as 'A university can be first stage of a mature life' and 'interact with payments and communication with strange people.' Proofreading and rephrasing can help. Try, 'University life often marks the first stage of adulthood' and 'deal with payments and interact with unfamiliar individuals.'
task achievement
The use of personal experiences strengthens the essay and makes the arguments more relatable and vivid.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's stance, making the essay feel complete and well-rounded.
task achievement
Examples given, such as studying in Moscow and participating in an exchange program in Paris, are quite specific and lend authenticity to the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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