Museums are places that exhibit all the historical artifacts and paintings that represent the author's will and passion. However, some places charge entrance fees while others are free to enter,

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Museums
are places that exhibit all the historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
and paintings that represent the author's will and passion.
However
, some places charge entrance fees
while
others are free to enter,
this
phenomenon has raised
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
controversial debate among
people
.
This
essay will provide suitable reasons why
museums
should have a fee to enter. It can easily be seen that museum owners charge admission fees when entering to serve a few purposes,
for instance
, when preserving historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
and paintings, it will cost owners a fortune. The museum
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be maintained, cleaned and equipped with up-to-date devices not only to protect the memory of history but
also
protect
Fix the infinitive
to protect
show examples
the author's precious works. But,
this
situation will have a slightly detrimental effect on
people
who wish to learn more about history. Charging a fee to enter will make
people
reluctant to pay an amount of money just to view a small number of
history
Replace the word
historical
show examples
pieces and pictures.
On the other hand
,
museums
which do not demand admission will be
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
by
people
more than those with admission
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
. Without a price to enter,
people
will feel free to absorb knowledge without any restraints, since learning is free for all.
Nevertheless
,
set
Verb problem
apply
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aside
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
benefits that
museums
gave
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
, there are still disadvantages to it.
For example
, entering without any payment will result in lots of
people
inside the
museums
not only causing
disturbance
Add an article
a disturbance
the disturbance
show examples
and annoyance to others but
also
destroying the peaceful atmosphere that
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
people
to
emerged
Wrong verb form
emerge
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themselves inside the meaning of each
artifact
Change the spelling
artefact
show examples
. In conclusion, the act of charging
people
will lessen the negative effects that threaten all the pieces of historical memory and provide a preferable profit to maintain the facilities and
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
that are presented in the
museums
.
Submitted by weezel on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention particular famous museums and how their admission policies impact visitors.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. You can use more linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions.
coherence cohesion
Work on your sentence variety and complexity. Avoid repetitive sentence structures to make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clarify your main points in the introduction and revisit them in the conclusion to emphasize your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument about charging entrance fees for museums, providing a balanced viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion that restates the main points, which is essential for a coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally clear and logically organized, which makes it easy to follow your argument.
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