Some people think that building tall building is the best way to create more housing space, while other people believe it's better to build many houses on land. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many societies believe that building a high building is the best measure to provide more space for housing, others think that it is better to construct the
house
on
land
/ground. In my opinion, for limited areas with dense
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
,
multi storey
Add a hyphen
multi-storey
show examples
apartment is the best model of public housing,
while
for sites with less populated, building
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
on spacious
land
could be more favorable. High building is the best solution to accommodate housing for citizens in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Such
a property has
structure
Correct article usage
a structure
show examples
requiring less footprint compared to
grounded
Add an article
a grounded
the grounded
show examples
house
.
For example
, many landed
houses
in Jakarta City have been replaced by apartments which can accommodate more living
houses
for families.
Furthermore
, the remaining space around the building can be converted to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public amenities,
such
as green parks, playgrounds or
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
venues.
In addition
,
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
view or city light from the height of
residence
Correct article usage
the residence
show examples
might be entertaining for certain people.
However
, apartment construction
demand
Change the verb form
demands
show examples
huge expenses related to
complexity
Add an article
the complexity
show examples
of the engineering design. Meanwhile, constructing
house
Add an article
a house
the house
show examples
on
land
is less complicated and cheaper than
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
skyscraper and it can be accomplished by low-skilled workers because
such
a process does not need complex engineering plans.
Nevertheless
, building grounded
houses
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
spacious
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
and not every site is available with large empty
land
due to
the rise of population. Constructing
this
type of housing is more suitable for rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
which is less populous. In conclusion, I believe that despite the expensive cost, the high building is the best solution to provide more
houses
in the urban
area
because of its saving in regard to
land
use. Meanwhile, grounded
houses
would be beneficial for
area
Add an article
the area
an area
show examples
that have a lot of empty
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
because it is more economical than
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
the apartment
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, try to deepen your arguments with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring smooth transitions between ideas. While your coherence and cohesion are generally good, some sentences could be made clearer by linking them better to the previous or next point.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating words or phrases too often, as this can make your writing seem redundant. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'high building,' you can use synonyms like 'skyscraper' or 'multistory building.'
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for your essay.
task achievement
Your main points are well-presented and generally supported by examples, which enhances your overall task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • geographical area
  • densely populated
  • infrastructural
  • maintenance costs
  • energy-efficient
  • green technologies
  • carbon footprint
  • community and lifestyle
  • social cohesion
  • environmental considerations
  • biodiversity
  • heat island effect
  • flexibility
  • scalability
  • preservation
  • distinct communities
  • demographic changes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: