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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious health problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solution can be offer

#childhood #obesity #health #countries #offer
At
this
 time, obesity in
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 is becoming an urgent health challenge in many nations.
This
 essay will look at some primary causes and offer some possible solutions to
this
 problem. There are a number of reasons for being obese in
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
. The first reason is that
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 may
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unhealthy eating
habits
Correct the article-noun agreement
habit
show examples
.
Children
 nowadays tend to consume junk
food
, sugar and
other kind
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another kind
other kinds
show examples
 of drinks that are very high in fat and
sugars
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sugar
show examples
, so these
food
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foods
show examples
 can
causes
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 kids to gain weight uncontrollably. Another reason is
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle.
Children
is
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are
show examples
 likely to enjoy their life without taking care of their health in order that they tend to surf the internet,
play
Correct word choice
and play
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 games
unccompanied
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unaccompanied
accompanied
 by keeping track of time
instead
 of doing sports.
As a consequence
, they becoming increasingly obese. There are several actions that
coube
Wrong verb form
can be
show examples
 taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above. First of all, it is important for parents to control what their
children
 eat to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 that they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. Parents should
also
 educate them
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 implications of obesity on health. In the second place, junk
food
 should be banned from school menus and fast
food
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 need to be limited.
Finally
, it is necessary for parents to restrict the time for
children
 in sedentary activities and encourage them to enjoy doing physical exercises. In conclusion, there are various factors leading to the
Correct your spelling
increase
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 in
child
 obesity and measures should be
Correct your spelling
implemented
implimented
Correct your spelling
implemented
 to tackle
this
 issue
Submitted by picolodeptrai123 on

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task achievement
Providing more specific examples can strengthen the essay and provide clearer support for the main points.
coherence cohesion
Improving linking phrases and transitions would enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be more clearly defined to avoid ambiguity and enhance readability.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the problem and the essay’s main points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay covers both causes and solutions adequately, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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