Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity- #film #star #sports #personality- #celebrity

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Nowadays, being a celebrity

such

as an artist or sports

person

is the most ambitious of everyone especially Gen Zee, because

this

is the easiest way to gain income on a high scale.

However

, there are more

problems

to be faced when someone chooses to be a famous customer in their life. I will discuss a couple of cases above

according to

my opinion and another

person

's. It is a general secret that famous

person

brings benefits

as well as

problems

to their lives because they live on monitoring everyone.

For instance

, film stars have a job to entertain and all of us are able to see their performance on TV, and

this

occupation has a big income for them. They can gain a billion money for one film project,

therefore

making them rich body on the term time.

Besides

, a sports personality has a good skill in some exercises

such

as football, riding, badminton, and anything else. They can gain more money from their performance on the field or trajectory.

In addition

, they can get a lot of money from endorsements because of their fame.

On the other hand

, being a famous

person

can lead them to more

problems

in their lives because of lack of privacy.

For instance

, when a famous

person

goes anywhere for a holiday. they are unable to avoid the media or people who want to take pictures with them.

This

case can lead them to an inconvenient life because of

loss

Correct article usage

the loss

show examples

of their freedom.

In addition

, when a famous

person

has a household problem, they will be hunted by the media or those who want to know about their problem,

therefore

they can't hide the

problems

from others and will be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

general

Change the word

generally

show examples

discussed. In conclusion, being a famous

person

will bring more benefits for them and easier to be a rich

person

besides

, have many drawbacks for them because they are unable to hide their lives from other people.

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Consider refining the introduction to state a clear thesis, outlining whether you believe being a celebrity brings more problems or benefits, and briefly mention the main points you will discuss.

task achievement

In addition to stating your own opinion, integrating quotes or referenced studies can make the essay more robust and convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow; currently, some parts feel somewhat fragmented.

coherence cohesion

Make sure you are consistently using the same tense, and refine sentences to eliminate errors in grammar and phrasing.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, which helps guide the reader through your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have divided your essay into distinct paragraphs that each address different points related to the topic.

task achievement

You have identified both benefits and drawbacks associated with being a celebrity and have provided explanations and examples.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Many FPTU students use their phones and laptops to play games during the English lessons. What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think they have the right to use as much water as they want. Others, however, believe that the government should control the use of fresh water as it is a limited resource. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.