Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?
While
it is widely claimed that experiences
based on Correct article usage
the pre-school
pre-school
Correct your spelling
preschool
phase
are vital for the children
development Change noun form
children's
in
Change preposition
at
later
time, others argue that Add an article
a later
the later
experiences
accumulated in Correct article usage
the aldolescent
aldolescent
era, to be specific, from school, are much more influential. Both Correct your spelling
adolescent
point
of Fix the agreement mistake
points
views
and reasons why I agree with both of the statements will be elaborated on in Fix the agreement mistake
view
this
essay.
To begin
with, it may seem sensible for some to believe that early
stage of Correct article usage
the early
children
before school is considered critical
period for parenting and become the most influential era for them. Add an article
a critical
This
is possibly because the
dependency of their parents leading them to cultivate skills and manners that will create Change preposition
of the
a long-term habits
that Correct the article-noun agreement
long-term habits
a long-term habit
unlikely
to be changed in the future. Take discipline , Add a missing verb
are unlikely
for example
; when this
kids learn how Change the determiner
these
behave
, they Add the particle
to behave
tended
not to do things that in the future.
Many opponents of Wrong verb form
tend
this
idea might opposed
that Change the verb form
oppose
be opposed
older
Correct article usage
the older
phase
of children
like teenagers
are
inarguably known to be the most epic point in their life. Change the verb form
is
Since
Correct word choice
Teenagers
teenagers
is
more Change the verb form
are
influence
Replace the word
influenced
toward
by their peers rather than their parents Correct word choice
apply
as
they Correct word choice
apply
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
majority
of Add an article
the majority
time
in school with their friends. Correct pronoun usage
their time
Therefore
, in this
respect, there is an
Correct article usage
apply
evident
showing that Replace the word
evidence
experiences
that teenagers
encountered various experiences
mainly from this
period do
greatly impact Verb problem
apply
on
how they prone to be when they Change preposition
apply
aged
.
Wrong verb form
age
However
, I personally, argue in favour of Correct article usage
the adolescence
adolescence
Replace the word
adolescent
phase
seeing that they are more mature are their critical thinking is much compared with their prior phase
. To simply explain, undeniably teenagers
that
Correct word choice
apply
they
often Correct pronoun usage
apply
dealing
with numerous decision-making Wrong verb form
deal
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
when
they were Change preposition
to when
a
toddlers Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
where
their parents Correct word choice
when
are
responsible for making head or tail for them.
In summary, Wrong verb form
were
alhtough
it is undeniable that the Correct your spelling
although
pre-school
Correct your spelling
preschool
eras
Fix the agreement mistake
era
of
Change preposition
apply
children
could be essential
Add an article
an essential
phase
, I am of the opinion that teenagers
do
Verb problem
have
Correct article usage
a greatly
greatly
impact in order to.Change the word
great
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, when discussing the role of parents or peers in influencing children, include detailed situations or studies to back your points.
task achievement
Revise your thesis statement to make it clearer and more direct. Explicitly state which side of the argument you support and preview the main points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'in contrast' can help to clearly show the shift in viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and avoid run-on sentences.
coherence cohesion
Create a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your thesis in a new way. This will leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints as requested by the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and the intention to discuss both points of view.
task achievement
You bring up valid points about the influence of both early childhood and teenage years on future life.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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