Task 2: In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
It is said that an extended number of biological species are becoming extinct. The prime root of
this
phenomenon would be the increasingly
number of people worldwide, and the government should be responsible for taking precautions against Change the adverb
increasing
this
eruption.
To begin
with, the current problem of overpopulation could predominantly contribute to several risks to the surrounding biodiversity. Having increased
Correct article usage
the increased
in
population, there Change preposition
apply
need
to be a real problem with housing demand, leading to Change the verb form
needs
the
dire deforestation and land Correct article usage
apply
clears
for residential purposes. Wrong verb form
clearing
Besides
, food requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
also
essential for each individual’s daily life, resulting in massive harvest
of crops which Fix the agreement mistake
harvests
decrease
the amount of Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
supplying
food for local animals. For that reason, the areas where these activities occurred, would become unable to live, leading to the creation of dead places Verb problem
apply
due to
food shortage and the extinction of local species.
To tackle the catastrophe, the government has so
shoulder the responsibility. Correct your spelling
to
Firstly
, the authorities should take action in regulating estate agent’s
deals in order to control the proportion of land used, so that there could be more Fix the agreement mistake
agents’
invention
of integrational houses, saving more invaluable resources. Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
Secondly
, imposing taxes and rules in harvesting crops could somehow reduce the overconsumption of these products, which provide
more opportunities to store crucial plants for future use. The environment and even human society, Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
moreover
, would be adversely affected if there were degradative biology.
In brief, the increasing growth of human
population could be Correct article usage
the human
an
Correct article usage
apply
attribution
to the decline in crops and living organisms existing. It is only if the world leader is involved Replace the word
attributed
in
that these actions can confront the dilemma.Change preposition
apply
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and addresses both parts of the question adequately. However, providing more specific examples could further strengthen your argument. For instance, mention specific countries or case studies where deforestation has led to species extinction.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas flow logically, and you have used cohesive devices effectively. Still, there are minor instances where clarity can be improved. For example, the sentence 'To begin with, the current problem of overpopulation could predominantly contribute to several risks to the surrounding biodiversity' could be more concise.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, but make sure to restate the main points in the conclusion more comprehensively. This helps in reinforcing your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific point, contributing to a cohesive argument.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both causes and solutions, which shows a complete response to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.