Some species of animal are almost extinct and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reason for this?

#species #risk #reason

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Some animal

species

are on the verge of extinction,

whereas

many others decline dramatically to the same situation.

This

essay aims to explain why the loss of habitats, poaching, and overfishing are the main reasons and suggest some

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

including preservational programmes and education.

Firstyly

Correct your spelling

Firstly

, the decline of habitats

due to

the construction of infrastructures is a significant contribution. Hydroelectric dams,

for instance

, can change the surrounding land into

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show examples

reservior

Correct your spelling

reservoir

, forcing many

terrestial

Correct your spelling

terrestrial

animals to emigrate.

Moreover

, deforestation to establish new housing estates or industrial zones destroys essential sources of food and

shelters

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shelter

show examples

, and

this

leads to the death of many

species

Secondly

, illegal hunting and excessive quoting threaten

species

that have a low rate of reproduction, resulting in population

degradetion

Correct your spelling

degradation

as damages caused before have not been recovered, but

being

Add a missing verb

are being

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followed by other exploitation. A primary measure to

this

problem is establishing and strictly regulating preservational programmes. Identifying suitable

landsites

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land sites

, cutting down the maximum amount of harvesting, and applying

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cutting-edge

techonology

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technology

to generate new individuals in labs can boost the

effciency

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efficiency

of the breeding and recovery processes. Another solution is educating citizens about

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

importance of wild animals. Provided that the level of

self-awereness

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self-awareness

is improved, people will be more willing to

rejecting

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reject

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illegally-catched

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illegally catched

products and offer a hand to prevent

environmentally-damaging

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environmentally damaging

show examples

activities. In

conclusion

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conclusion,

show examples

species

of animals can be extinct

while

others are rapidly becoming endangered

due to

habitat decline

as well as

poaching and overfishing.

Therefore

, programmes to preserve habitats

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and education are some possible approaches to address the problem.

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

The essay does a good job of addressing the prompt and providing reasons and solutions for the decline in animal species. However, it would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made.

task achievement

There are minor language and grammar issues, such as 'preservational', 'landsites', and 'citizens about he importance'. Proofreading can help eliminate these errors and improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from additional linking phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and within them.

coherence cohesion

Some paragraphs could be more clearly divided into separate points, such as discussing habitat loss first and then poaching in a different section. This would enhance readability and logical structure.

task achievement

The introduction is clear and sets up the essay's main points well.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the reasons and proposed solutions.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical progression of ideas, and the essay is easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Some species of animal are almost extinct and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reason for this?

Fully explain your ideas

The use of mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phones should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

LIVING IN A COUNTRY WHERE YOU HAVE TO SPEAK A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CAN CAUSE SERIOUS SOCIAL PROBLEMS, AS WELL AS PRATICAL PROBLEMS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMEMT.

Modern technology is being used more and more in different aspects of our live, such as education. Do the advantages of using technology as an educational tool outweigh its disadvantages?

In the modern world¬, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?