IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The process of producing drinking water by solar powdered pump and filter.

#process #water #filter
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Contained in the diagram is information pertaining to how drinking
water
 be produced from a pump and filter which is energized by solar power.
Overall
, it is a simple procedure with 4 stages, commencing with sunlight transforming to power by the solar panel
then
 culminating with the process of producing drinking
water
 ready for people to drink it. At the outset, individuals set the solar panel at a place that
received
Wrong verb form
receives
show examples
 a lot of sunlight to change it to solar power before being changed to electricity by a converter.
Then
, the electric wire
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leads the electricity to provide energy to a pump machine.
Next,
the machine is located at an underground well to pump
water
 into a pipe to top up the
water
 tank. After the
water
 reaches a particular level of the
water
 tank, the filter machine
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 to gauze the
water
 in order to
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
swallow
liquid
Correct article usage
the liquid
show examples
 fresh. After that, it goes into a pipe which has a tap to lock or open to control how the
water
 is poured to fill up a moveable container.

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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, but it can improve by providing more specific details and clearer explanations of each stage of the process. For example, the essay mentions 'a place that received a lot of sunlight,' but it could specify that this is done to optimize energy capture.
task achievement
Ensure each stage in the process is clearly explained. Some parts are vague, such as 'filter machine start to gauze the water.' Instead, you could say 'the filter machine purifies the water to ensure it is safe for drinking.'
coherence cohesion
Maintain clearer logical connections and transitions between sentences and stages. The structure is mostly logical, but some slight improvements in connectivity can help the reader follow along more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear, but a conclusion summarizing the process would enhance the structure. This helps in reinforcing the procedure described and can improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines the overall process and sets the stage for a detailed explanation of the stages involved.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical sequence of the stages involved in creating drinking water through solar power.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • renewable energy
  • solar panels
  • electrical energy
  • water pump
  • storage tanks
  • filtration system
  • sediment filtration
  • activated carbon filtration
  • UV purification
  • off-grid locations
  • environmental benefits
  • sustainable solutions
  • clean drinking water
  • extraction
  • purification process
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