The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of larghe fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of larghe fish called the salmon.

 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
The picture represents the wheel of life of the
salmon
fish
.
Initially
,the life of
salmon
fish
starts with
egg
Correct article usage
an egg
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
lives approximately
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5 years and attains a
length
of around 70-75cm.
To begin
with,
salmon
eggs
are found in the
downstreams
Correct your spelling
downstream
of the
river
where the mature female
fish
lays
eggs
which are smaller than pebbles.
Further
,
egg
Correct article usage
the egg
show examples
hatches and attains the fry
stage
followed by smolt and
finally
reaches
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adulthood.
Initially
,the
salmon
eggs
are present at the
botton
Correct your spelling
bottom
of the upper
river
, normally it takes 5-6 months for
hatching
Add an article
the hatching
show examples
of
eggs
and
then
moves
Correct subject-verb agreement
move
show examples
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
fast
Add an article
a fast
show examples
flowing
river
,during
this
stage
the young ones are referred
as
Change preposition
to as
show examples
'Fry' and usually
ranges
Correct subject-verb agreement
range
show examples
in the
length
of 3-5cm.It grows up in the lowest
river
Change preposition
for upto
show examples
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
4 years and slowly fry
stage
change to 'Smolt' and in
this
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
fish
attains
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
length
of 12-15cm. After the 'Smolt'
stage
,it is moved to
open
Add an article
the open
show examples
sea where the
salmon
fish
reaches its adulthood and acquires
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
length
of 70-76cm.The matured
fish
lays
Add an article
an egg
the egg
show examples
egg
Fix the agreement mistake
eggs
show examples
and the
biorhytm
Correct your spelling
biorhythm
repeates
Correct your spelling
repeated
repeats
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, fish, length, cm, eggs, river, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "moves" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.

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