Some people hold the view that a good teacher is more important for education success while others think the student’s attitude is more important to succeed in education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

An increasing
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
of today think
education
will be
succes
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success
if
students
has
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have
show examples
good
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
some people argue that good
instruc
Correct your spelling
instruction
is vital for
education
success.
i
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I
show examples
am going to discuss the
statment
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statement
for
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
reason
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reasons
show examples
below. First of all,
education
is crucial for
face
Wrong verb form
facing
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
future. several
students
archive opportunities if they
are
Verb problem
pay
show examples
attention
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
class.
Moreover
, they are able to improve their ability
such
as learn about historical national,
biologhy
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biology
, and practice. In
addtion
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addition
,
during study
Change preposition
while studying
show examples
at school we can join any
compition
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competition
levels
international
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apply
show examples
, gain
certificate
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a certificate
show examples
for
face
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the
show examples
future or
apply
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apply for
show examples
a job and all people admire
a
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our
show examples
behavior. Second of all, as we know
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
class we can get any occasion like new friends and
knowledege
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knowledge
.
Beside
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Besides
show examples
that
teacher
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teachers
show examples
have a role
to create
Change preposition
in creating
show examples
student
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students
show examples
being profound. for
ilustration
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illustration
, every day some teachers give a lesson and explain it.
Furthemore
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Furthermore
,
the
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apply
show examples
both views have
disvantages
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disadvantages
. from my point of you
education
will be
succes
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successful
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on teachers because
at
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apply
show examples
beyond teachers possess how to guide their own
students
and provide facilities for
increase
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increased
show examples
ability. In
addtion
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addition
I argue that some
students
has
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have
show examples
talent and skill it is a good
opportunities
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opportunity
show examples
for doing
a lectures
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lectures
a lecture
show examples
. In
conculude
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conclusion
,
education
very
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is very
show examples
crucial during
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
. a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
opportunities we can acquire like
relationship
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relationships
show examples
, good attitude, knowledge,
honor
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honour
show examples
a teacher and
prepare
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prepare to
show examples
face the future.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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structure
Your essay needs a clear structure. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and provides an overview of what you will discuss. Divide the main body into paragraphs, each focusing on one idea, and conclude with a summary of your main points and your final opinion.
content development
Your response should be more comprehensive and clear. Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your points. Expand on how student attitude and teacher quality each contribute to educational success, providing specific illustrations for each.
language use
Work on your grammar and vocabulary. There are several grammatical errors, improper word choices, and spelling mistakes. For example, 'archive opportunities' should be 'achieve opportunities','instruc' should be 'instruction', 'ilustration' should be 'illustration', 'biologhy' should be 'biology', etc. Proofreading your essay can help catch these errors.
linking devices
Try to improve the flow of your essay by using linking words and phrases such as 'Moreover', 'In addition', 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'Therefore'. This will improve coherence.
conclusion
Your conclusion should restate the main points and provide a clear final opinion. Be sure to summarize the discussion about both views and give a clear stance on which you believe contributes more to educational success.
task understanding
You attempted to address both views in the discussion, which is good. This shows that you understand the task requirement.
support and examples
You included some examples and reasons, which is good practice. Expanding on these can further help illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inspire
  • motivate
  • engaged
  • persist
  • responsibility
  • resources
  • collaborative efforts
  • educational outcomes
  • discipline
  • study habits
  • interdependent
  • individualized support
  • complex concepts
  • overcome challenges
  • receptive student
  • external factors
  • family support
  • peer influence
  • socio-economic status
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