Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy through sporting events such as Olympics or World Cup. Others think that there are more better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and state you opinion.

#adults #exercise #think #people #events #olympics #world #cup

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In recent times adults tend to do less exercise.

While

some might say that

people

can be encouraged to follow healthy lifestyles through sporting events

such

as The Olympics or the World Cup.

While

others think that there are other ways to promote exercise among adults.

Although

sporting events can help

people

, I believe that other effective measures can be taken. On the one hand,

people

generally get motivated to stay healthy when they watch a game or sport played by their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

team or player.

This

is because

usually

Add a comma

usually,

show examples

people

try to mimic them or play the same sport played

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them and

as a

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

it has a positive effect on their health.

For instance

, in an article published by the Times of India, around 70% of school students play football because they liked Ronaldo, not because it keeps them healthy. I believe

this

motivation can be temporary and lasts only during the sports season, so it cannot be reliable.

On the other hand

, constructing new fitness facilities, like free outdoor gyms with different equipment.

This

gives a chance to everyone mainly to those struggling financially and to students who have a budget to live with. Once

people

start working out, they will start taking care of other aspects of life leading them to live a healthier life.

For example

, in Poland, every community has a free outdoor gym that can be used by everyone and

as a result

overweight

people

are hard to find.

Therefore

, I completely advocate for these solutions that can encourage everyone to have a better life. In conclusion,

although

sports events can have benefits in promoting

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle, I think

this

matter could be addressed better by the aforementioned methods.

Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on Wed Jun 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is excellent. However, consider enriching the transition between the points you discuss for a smoother flow.

task achievement

While you adequately address the task and provide a balanced discussion of both views, a more thorough explanation of how sporting events may temporarily motivate adults and why more sustainable methods are better could strengthen your response.

task achievement

Try to diversify your vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstration of language proficiency.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a well-defined structure with clear paragraphs dedicated to introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

The examples provided (e.g., Times of India article, outdoor gyms in Poland) are relevant and appropriately support your ideas.

task achievement

Your writing is generally clear and your ideas are communicated effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy through sporting events such as Olympics or World Cup. Others think that there are more better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and state you opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think young people are not suitable for important position in the government while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on the positions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory, job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find ur difficult to get a university education. University should make it easier for such groups to enrol. To what extent do you agree or disagree.