In some societies, it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#societies #health #fitness #sports #diets #medicine #alternative #people #life

Nowadays, many people think that they should live a normal life rather than trying to do

exercise

eating

Wrong verb form

eat

show examples

healthy food to stay in shape and have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good fitness. I partly agree with

this

opinion and here are the reasons why! First

Correct pronoun usage

of all

show examples

, every individual is different and not everyone has

perfect

Add an article

a perfect

the perfect

show examples

body,

however

, with the balance of healthy eating and regular

exercise

, I believe that individuals can lead

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

and normal life.

For instance

, regular health checkups,

exercise

and healthy eating habits can be fostered into

day to day

Add a hyphen

day-to-day

show examples

routine

Fix the agreement mistake

routines

show examples

avoiding the need to attract diseases caused by unhealthy eating habits,

such

as obesity.

Moreover

, we are living in an era whereby many people rely on vitamin supplements to substitute nutrients required from various foods thereby neglecting the need to focus on what's good for their body.

For instance

, individuals can spend their time

home

Change preposition

at home

show examples

to find comfort in basic

exercise

rather than having to take drastic measures to go to

they

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

gym every time.

To conclude

, in order to maintain fit and healthy, individuals

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

to bring

balance

Add an article

a balance

the balance

show examples

of healthy eating and

exercise

in order to lead a normal life which will help strengthen their immune system and protect them against diseases.

Submitted by sejal.h on Wed Jun 05 2024

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Check for minor grammatical errors and sentence structure.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

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Attempts to provide reasons and some examples to support the arguments are evident.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

205 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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