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In some societies, it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#societies #health #fitness #sports #diets #medicine #alternative #people #life
Nowadays, many people think that they should live a normal life rather than trying to do
exercise
 or
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 healthy food to stay in shape and have
a
Remove the article
apply
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good fitness. I partly agree with
this
 opinion and here are the reasons why! First
of
Correct pronoun usage
of all
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, every individual is different and not everyone has
perfect
Add an article
a perfect
the perfect
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 body,
however
, with the balance of healthy eating and regular
exercise
, I believe that individuals can lead
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 and normal life.
For instance
, regular health checkups,
exercise
 and healthy eating habits can be fostered into
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
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 avoiding the need to attract diseases caused by unhealthy eating habits,
such
 as obesity.
Moreover
, we are living in an era whereby many people rely on vitamin supplements to substitute nutrients required from various foods thereby neglecting the need to focus on what's good for their body.
For instance
, individuals can spend their time
home
Change preposition
at home
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 to find comfort in basic
exercise
 rather than having to take drastic measures to go to
they
Correct your spelling
the
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 gym every time.
To conclude
, in order to maintain fit and healthy, individuals
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to bring
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 of healthy eating and
exercise
 in order to lead a normal life which will help strengthen their immune system and protect them against diseases.
Submitted by sejal.h on

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coherence cohesion
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Check for minor grammatical errors and sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Attempts to provide reasons and some examples to support the arguments are evident.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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