Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?
Access to computers
have
significantly widespread, and Wrong verb form
has been
Correct article usage
the numbers
numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
children
who play video games
noticeably
Wrong verb form
has noticed
Correct article usage
an increased
increased
in Replace the word
increase
this
century. As a result
of this
, children
became tendency of violent and numerous diseases occurred, such
as Correct your spelling
obesity
obesite
and Correct your spelling
obesity
Correct your spelling
heart
hearth
diseases. Correct your spelling
heart
This
issue will be discussed in this
essay along with
some possible solutions that may be implemented to alleviate the bad effects.
First and above all
, a lot of computer
games
include violance
and Correct your spelling
violence
Correct article usage
a numbers
numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
children
learn how to use this
behaviour via the games
. Children
who even have never been a
violent area in their family, if they play Change preposition
to a
computer
games
in
Change preposition
of
this
kind, usually became
tendency of violent. Wrong verb form
become
According to
Oxford University
recent research, Change noun form
University's
children
who play computer
games
related to war, suddenly start to injury
animals and people. Replace the word
injure
Second
negative impact of playing Add an article
The second
Change preposition
on computer
computer
is the Fix the agreement mistake
computers
games
have tremendous preface and this
lead
to a dependency on Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
screen
for Fix the agreement mistake
screens
children
. And
Correct word choice
This
this
situation causes children
get
fat over Add the particle
to get
the
time and Correct article usage
apply
became
obese Wrong verb form
become
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
and
Correct word choice
which
also
increase
the risk of cardiovascular diseases.
It is important that action is taken to combat these negative impacts. Parents should limit their Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
children
’s computer
time and control games
which their Correct article usage
the games
children
play. Also
they can transform Add a comma
Also,
this
fact to
a positive situation. Change preposition
into
For example
, they suggest to their children
to play educational computer
games
instead
of war games
. Additionally
, parents also
should ensure that times do not become and
addiction. Because of Correct your spelling
an
this
reason
they should encourage their Add a comma
reason,
children
to lead an active life.
To conclude
, accessibility
of computers Correct article usage
the accessibility
lead
to numerous negative Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
of
people, especially on Change preposition
on
children
. However
, ,
in order to prevent Change the punctuation
apply
this
ease of access from turning into an addiction, parents should control their children
more and offer them a more active life.Submitted by svdnruslu on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point and build logically on the previous one.
task achievement
Try to use more complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing. This will make your arguments more compelling and your essay more engaging.
task achievement
When introducing examples, it’s important to use specific and relevant examples to support your points. Try to provide more concrete evidence and clear illustrations for your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the negative impacts of computer games on children and proposes relevant solutions, which shows a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion, making your essay easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
There are some attempts to use variety of sentence structures and synonyms, which reflects good effort in making the language varied.