Most societies are based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they wanted, society could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The majority of communities follow some
rules
and regulations. It is argued that, if people of
Change preposition
in
society
were not monitored, it would cause some problems. I completely agree with this
statement because laws
provide secure
and peaceful environment for Add an article
a secure
nation
which helps individuals to progress.
On the Add an article
a nation
the nation
on
hand, some regulations must be implemented by Correct your spelling
one
government
to decrease the crime rates in Add an article
the government
society
. For instance
, a community without rules
is a good place for criminals in order to start bullying and blackmailing from ordinary citizens. In this
case, the number of criminals is increasing without any supervision. If governments or police officers did not interfere, the city would be ruled by gangesters
. Correct your spelling
gangsters
In contrast
, by having clear laws
and punishments for offenders, the secutiry
level of the town will Correct your spelling
security
raise
. The safe Correct your spelling
rise
atomosphere
leads the residents to work better and Correct your spelling
atmosphere
gaine
more profit not only for themselvesCorrect your spelling
gain
gained
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
for their society
.
On the other hand
, the strik
Correct your spelling
strike
strict
rules
create calm
atmosphere in Add an article
a calm
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. It is evident that,
the regulations and Remove the comma
apply
laws
could prevent chaos. The individuals, who live together in an area, have often various point
of Fix the agreement mistake
points
views
on Fix the agreement mistake
view
same
Correct article usage
the same
subjects
. A leader with severe Fix the agreement mistake
subject
rules
are
needed in the communities in order to prevent discussions or fights among people and provide Change the verb form
is
Correct article usage
a peacful
peacful
environment. It is essential for everyone to obey single Correct your spelling
peaceful
rules
and refuse any controversy. As a result
, citizens are able to get promotion
and have advancement in their Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
career
.
In conclusion, it would be Fix the agreement mistake
careers
bad
choice for Add an article
a bad
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
to give absolute freedom to its people, becasue
it will have some negative effects on community progression. In my opinion, the Correct your spelling
because
laws
give the citizens a chance to boost their abilities in a safe and calm ambiance
.Change the spelling
ambience
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on
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task achievement
In your essay, you have presented a clear stance on the topic, which is commendable. To improve your task achievement score, try to provide more specific examples and concrete evidence to support your arguments. For example, mentioning specific laws that have contributed to societal security could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some sentences and ideas could be more clearly connected. Using linking words and phrases such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'For instance' more effectively can improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine your paragraphing by ensuring that each paragraph centers around a single idea or main point. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Avoid using informal language such as 'gangesters' (gangsters) and ensure that your spelling and grammar are accurate. Proofreading your essay can help identify and correct these errors.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, making your stance clear from the beginning and summarizing it well at the end.
task achievement
You have identified the potential negative consequences of absolute freedom and highlighted the importance of laws, which strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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