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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the proportion of holidaymakers using four different types of accommodation in three different years.

The charts below show the proportion of holidaymakers using four different types of accommodation in three different years.
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The given illustrations demonstrate the percentage of people's choices of four sorts of accommodations in 1988, 1998, and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a decrease in the proportion of
travelers
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travellers
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 choosing the option of staying with family, and camping,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite change can be witnessed in the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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customers enjoying rented
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
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, and hotels.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the data of holidaymakers staying with family generally dropped,
it
Correct word choice
but it
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 still maintained at the highest position compared with other means throughout the whole period. The number of customers staying with family started at 52% in 1988, after which it rose slightly to 52% in 1998, before ending the period at 44% in 2008
due to
Linking Words
 a noticeable decrease.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the figure for people choosing camping was
at
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apply
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26% in 1988, followed by a twofold decrease to 13% in 1998 and generally
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
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 off in the next
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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decade. 15% was the figure for customers who were interested in hotels in 1988, with a marginal rise to 22% in 1998 and remained the same in the next decade. Equivalent change can be considered in the proportion of people renting apartments, which started at a mere 7%
in
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at
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 the beginning of the time, after which it rose moderately to 11% in 1998, before reaching the end of the period at 22%
in
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on
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 2008 because of a significant double rise.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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