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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph illustrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 coming to different types of museums in London from June to September of 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
 , it can be seen that both sciences
as well as
Linking Words
 British
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 saw an increase in their
visitors
Use synonyms
 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the natural history one had a decline .
Additionally
Linking Words
 , even though
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 witnessed a drop near the end , it still remained as the
museum
Use synonyms
 with most
visitors
Use synonyms
 joining . Regarding
museum
Use synonyms
 categories which experienced an upward trend in the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 , both Science and
Biritsh
Correct your spelling
British
Museum
Use synonyms
 in June had nearly 400 and 600
thousand
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 , respectively . As for the British
Museum
Use synonyms
, throughout the 4-month period , it saw a fluctuation before slightly increasing to just under 650
thousand
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the time frame . Meanwhile , the science
museum
Use synonyms
 started with a gradual decrease until August at about 300
thousand
Use synonyms
 people , before recovering and sharply going up to over 400
thousand
Use synonyms
 by September. Turning to the remaining
museum
Use synonyms
 had a decline from about 550 to less than 400
thousand
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 between June and July. Afterwards , it remained steady at that point until August when it had a slow growth to approximately 500
thousand
Use synonyms
 people .

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • illustrates
  • number of visitors
  • museums
  • from June to September 2013
  • the British Museum
  • the Natural History Museum
  • the Science Museum
  • overall trend
  • attracted
  • the most visitors
  • fewest visitors
  • peak
  • experienced fluctuations
  • decline
  • highlight
  • dominance
  • consistent decline
  • minor resurgence
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