Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Some proportion of

children

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population spend hours daily

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their

devices

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such

Linking Words

as smartphones. Regarding

this

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matter, to my point of view,

this

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has a very negative development on the youngsters. On one hand, in modern times,

children

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start to use phones

from

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young ages at around about 4 or 5 for a long time a day, creating a good start

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their career. As far as artificial intelligence improves, more jobs are likely to require some kind of knowledge about electronic

devices

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. In

this

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case, being able to interact with smartphones and other

devices

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might be

very

Correct article usage

a very

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significant skill contributing to their job, workplace and position of the job as well.

Furthermore

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, it is worth noting that, by having access to the internet through their smartphones,

children

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could learn any piece of information that they believe they would like to know about.

On the other hand

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, many people are not fully aware of the wild consequences that using smart

devices

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can bring. One of them and the main one is the health problems like mental and physical are very harsh.

Children

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’s bodies are only developing at that age and using electronic

devices

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for hours can create serious issues in the problem with their health. Even adults are now taking medical courses to heal their eyes and they are visiting several

phycologists

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psychologists

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because of the aggression that they have met on the internet.

To sum up

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, in my opinion,

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apply

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allowing

children

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to use phones for hours during the day can be very dangerous to them today and in their future

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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Submitted by checkmyessay9 on Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, as this can strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow of your essay by using more cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases.

overall

Be careful with the accuracy and variety of your vocabulary. Some phrases can be clearer or more precise.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to your response.

task achievement

You have addressed both parts of the task, discussing reasons why children spend hours on smartphones and your stance on whether this is positive or negative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

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Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Many students around the world don’t choose science subjects at university. Give the reasons for this and describe the impact on the community?

You are planning a short visit to a city where one of your relatives lives. Write a letter to your relative. In your letter: • Explain when and how long you will be in town. • Ask whether you can stay at their home. • Offer to pay for yourself.

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. Why is this? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion.

car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. how to do you think this statement is? what measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars.

You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch.